Amazing Race

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Cultural Ignorant Americans Make Little Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Andrew and Dan arrive at the terminal, and Andrew is amazed at how busy the airport is, even after midnight. Like it stops being Delhi after a certain hour. Terence and Sarah seem to be getting on a flight that transfers in Moscow and lands at 1:20 a.m., exactly an hour and a half after the lead flight. Andrew and Dan are trying to get on the same flight at the same time, but this time it's Terence and Sarah who win that race. "We'll just have to make up an hour and a half after the other teams," Sarah shrugs as she and Terence walk down the jetway to the "2nd flight to Almaty. She is correct, but not in the way she thinks. Andrew and Dan get on an Emirates flight that Dan describes as being "significantly behind the other teams." This would all be more suspenseful if we didn't know from last week's preview that in terms of rankings on the ground when they arrive, all of this airplane-jockeying is going to amount to precisely dick.

The Amazing Yellow Line has recovered enough to come back to work this week, but it's gotten some help. It's still taking the longest route, to Frankfurt and back, but an Amazing Orange Line heads up to Moscow (Terence and Sarah) while an Amazing Green Line representing the Frat Boys' flight makes the short hop over to Dubai. "All teams are now making their way via three connecting cities to Almaty, Kazakhstan," Phil VOs. Those three Amazing Lines even seem to have synchronized their convergence on Almaty in the same order that the flights arrive. Amazing.

The flight schedule apparently allowed for a full day of b-roll shooting, which shows folk music, folk dancing, a folk horse-and-carriage ride, and a folk sunset. Apparently Kazakhstan is folk-intensive. The first flight touches down at the airport in the middle of the night as scheduled, and the first three teams quickly find cabs. Ken and Tina's driver promises to get them to their destination in ten minutes, which is a relief to Tina after the cab chaos of Delhi. "We're not there yet," Ken reminds her. "Don't count your chickens before they hatch," they dork at each other. That is so obvious and stupid and totally something I would not have been able to stop myself from saying. Three taxis arrive at the chicken factory in darkness, and the racers get out and wander around until Tina spots a gate. They run over to it to find it locked, and the sign attached to it lists the hours as 7:30 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Haven't seen too many operating-hours bunches this season, so I guess we were about due. "I guess we're going to have some quality time with one another," Starr remarks. Translation: Dallas and I are going for a walk. Everyone hand over your headlamps and don't get any ideas.

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Amazing Race

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