Amazing Race

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Cultural Ignorant Americans Make Little Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Terence and Sarah land, and she speculates in their cab about whether they'll have to pluck or eat chickens. "I hope not," Terence mutters, unaware of what he's going to be asked to do instead, at his own insistence. Sarah's the first to spot the factory sign, on which she's able to read the Cyrillic lettering meaning "agro." Is this chick a full-time linguist or what? Although I guess if you date Terence, you have to know how to say "aggro" in many languages anyway. "Yay, we made it," Sarah says, as they realize they've caught up with the other teams.

As the sun comes up the next morning, a consensus seems to be forming that Dan and Andrew won't be there for the opening. Indeed, it seems to be full daylight outside as their plane finally touches down at Almaty, putting them quite decisively in last place. They seem to find a cab driver inside the terminal, and as they follow him to the exit, Dan asks if he knows how to get to the chicken factory by imitating a chicken. "Sometimes you gotta make noises," Dan explains. In their cab, Andrew is blandly and unconvincingly talking about how excited he is when their driver stops and asks them for the address, which Andrew hands over. "We're in last place and we get the one clueless driver," Dan complains, although there's no way he could possibly know that. But they get back on the road, and are glad to arrive at the factory before the gates open. The other teams are less happy about that. Tina even mutters her bizarre curse, "Turkeylips." When a factory worker clad head-to-toe in paper opens the gate from inside, all ten racers push past her and sprint the fifty yards to the clue box. Dan gets there first and grabs a clue, but Nick snatches it out of his hand, thus saving himself as much as half a second that he would have had to spend reaching inside himself, which Dan has to do again. That's pretty obnoxious of Nick, but nobody says anything because they're all thinking, How the fuck did Dan just beat us all in a footrace?

The clue is for a Road Block, which Phil tells us is a "close encounter of the bird kind." The racers will need to enter a chicken shack that looks to be about the size of a football field and which is swarming with 30,000 live chickens, all milling around at floor level. Somewhere in there are seven golden eggs, which we see Phil holding up to the camera while wearing a Tyvek coverall emblazoned with an Amazing Flag on the breast. He looks weird; his hair's all wrong because he's wearing paper gloves, and he's pretty self conscious about wearing pants that are too baggy for us to determine the ambient temperature by looking at him. The clue question is, "Who's feeling peckish?" The ones taking this are Andrew, Toni, and Tina. But wait! There's a Fast Forward.

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Amazing Race

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