Amazing Race

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Cultural Ignorant Americans Make Little Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Dan and Andrew are still riding around seemingly at random, leaning out of the window for directions every time they see someone. Andrew lets out a mirthless laugh, and Dan bites his head off for it like Andrew actually thinks it's funny. Or, I don't know, maybe Andrew does think it's funny. He seems to think Dan is funny, so he's clearly got a low baseline.

Sarah's doing the Road Block. The chickens are like, "Weren't we done with these paper-wearing morons? Do svidaniya, crazy lady." She wanders around, pausing to look under individual birds, while Terence yells at her to check the perimeter. Dan and Andrew? Still getting nowhere. Sarah has begun talking to the chickens, probably because they're easier to get along with than Terence is. The Frat Boys' frustration is boiling over, as they appeal for help to another crowd of motionless locals. "They're like zombies," Andrew remarks, and he's not too far off. Dan is, however: "These are horrible people!" he snaps, which doesn't exactly impress their driver. Now he has to decide whether to keep driving around in circles or get to the arch as soon as possible so he can be rid of them.

At the chicken coop, Sarah lets out a scream and drops to the ground so fast I think she had a stroke and collapsed, but she's just diving for the egg she found. Now they're off in search of the crane trucks. Meanwhile, inside the Frat Boys' truck, Dan is bitching in his typical epic way. "We're in last place. We're gonna lose. I mean, it's over." You know, any team that says that in the first or second act of the episode is always the team I'm going to root for. How about you?

So of course, after the ads, they find a woman in a headscarf who's willing to get up, hike around the giant hook protruding from the front of the truck, and give their driver directions in either Russian or Kazakh, which I'm embarrassed to say I can't tell apart. Amazing what a simple commercial break can fix. But don't assume the Frat Boys are out of the woods yet, because Terence and Sarah have just now gotten into their own truck, and are effectively in the same stage of the leg as the Frat Boys. And if anyone can screw up enough to allow Terence and Sarah to come back from as far behind as they are, it's the Frat Boys.

At Old Square, Nick and Starr jog up to the mat. The greeter is not Borat, but a white-bearded man in a fur hat and an elaborate gold-embroidered green robe who spreads his hands wide and proclaims, "Welca to Kazakhstan!" Phil tells them they're team number one. "You sound like a broken record, Phil!" Nick cracks. Uh, you sound a little cocky, there, Nick. Still a few legs to run yet, Sparky. Phil tells them that they've won a pair of 180-HP waverunners, which should make up for the effect their new electric cars will have on their carbon footprint. Starr interviews about what a great relationship they have, and how much it's helped them. Nick agrees, "I think a truly positive attitude and a never give up approach to the race has really behooved Starr and I." I love Fast Forwards. One less team to recap for half of the episode!

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Amazing Race

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