Amazing Race
I'm Not A Miner! No, You're An Idiot!, Part I

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Shop Till You Drop

Alex and Dave are heading for the bushie, which Alex finds first. I think Alex thanks the bird, actually. Dave is next. When the bird screams at him, he says exasperatedly, "I hear you, bird." Heh.

Meanwhile, an irrationally exuberant Tara and Wil, thinking they're in first place, find the ankle-biter, followed by Blake and Paige. Alex finds his way back to Chris, and they dash for the museum. Dave is close on his heels, and when he gets back to Gary, he's shocked to hear that Wil and Blake have been allegedly finished with the Roadblock for quite a few minutes. It seems impossible. Of course, that's because it is impossible. "I don't get it," Dave groans. Alex and Chris land on the mat, and they're team number two.

Now, in one of my favorite moments, Wil is really feeling his oats as he and Tara progress from the ankle-biter to the swimsuit girl. "I'm not going to brag, but you can't keep a good man down," he, uh, brags. They get the clue from her, and are soon followed by the Teeth. Blake feels it necessary to kiss the poor swimsuit girl. I don't think that's part of the Roadblock, Blake. No sexually harassing the local color!

Gary and Dave are third at the pit stop.

Taraweasel arrives at the bushie and collects the clue. When they open it, Wil starts to read it out loud. "'Return to your partner, check in' -- 'Return to your partner?'" he says incredulously. Um, yep. "Oh, my God, you fucked this whole thing up?" Tara says. The cockatoo chirps sympathetically. "We have to do the whole thing over," she despairs. I think this is my petty side's absolutely favorite scene of the entire race, bar none. My petty side is in heaven. My petty side is not afraid to tell you that this is the happiest it has been in months. Possibly years. My petty side is now going to lie down and ponder its good fortune for a good week and a half.

Commercials. Vote for a new color of M&Ms, because God knows American consumerism wouldn't be where it is today if we ever left well enough alone.

Wil heads back to the opera house to start the Roadblock over, as Blake and Paige get to the bushie and receive the same bad news. (Said news being, "Return to your partner.") Blake's first reaction is righteous indignation -- he sort of stammers, "That is so un -- un -- " You can tell he's going for "unfair," but fortunately for him, he never actually gets there, because he then rereads the clue and sees that it indeed said that all along. Back at the opera house, Wil takes off to rerun the Roadblock, leaving Tara behind. In an interview, he at least takes full responsibility for the screwup, which is honestly more than I was expecting from him. "I made a costly error," he says. I only wish. The Teeth also come back to the Roadblock starting point, and Paige plunks down on the steps next to Tara to wait for their respective idiots to return. "I can't believe this," Paige moans. "I can, with Wil," Tara groans. Snerk. They then commiserate about the fact that neither Blake nor Wil actually pays attention to anything, because they're so busy racing and being oh-so-intense all the time.

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Amazing Race




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