Amazing Race
I'm Not A Miner! No, You're An Idiot!, Part I

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Shop Till You Drop

Before the girls have to break out the General Foods International Coffee, Wil finally gets back and picks Tara up, and they're off. In their cab, Tara says that Wil isn't allowed to do Roadblocks anymore, and he seems genuinely confused as to what she's upset about. "If I would have done this, I would have read the whole thing," she says firmly. He protests, and she points out that not only did he screw it up, he ignored her specific attempts to keep him from screwing it up by asking him over and over to make sure he did it carefully. He basically has no defense except Blake-did-it-too, which isn't that much of a defense, considering...well, considering it's Blake. Speaking of whom, he makes it back to the starting point and picks up Paige, and they head for the pit stop.

Taraweasel and the Teeth race for the museum. Tara winds up yelling at people in the street in order to get where she's going, which quickly gets her nowhere. She grouses that they're "about to be eliminated," which is pretty dumb, considering that this is obviously a non-elimination leg, not that I would break the suspense bubble or anything. "Every second counts!" Blake hollers at Paige. "Okay!" she says with annoyance, particularly since they just got through making up for his screwup. "You gotta have a positive attitude!" he pleads breathlessly. Oy. Shut UP, Blake. On the roof of the museum, at the pit stop mat, Phil waits patiently with the town crier. Wil and Tara finally emerge and approach. Phil tells them they're in fourth place. In an interview, Tara points out that if she had screwed up anything as badly as Wil did, he would have hung her from a bridge by her feet. She's right, of course.

As the creepy, creepy Teeth enter the museum, Blake is all positive-attitude-ing that "every other team gets mad and crumbles, but we're going to stay strong..." Shut up AGAIN, Blake. "There he is, the grim freakin' reaper," Blake says as they approach Phil at the mat. Long story short? Oh, yeah, they're last. But? Non-elimination! Blake grins. Then, he goes into a little speech about Paige: "My sister is the most amazing woman in the world. If I could find a girl like her, tomorrow, I'd get married. I wouldn't be single anymore. She is so fun, so smart, so supportive...she's everything to me, she really is." I'm not going to make a big deal out of it or anything, because I think you get the general vibe, but...ew. Really. Ew.

Next up: Can Danny and Oswald diva their way into first place? Who will get dumped next? Will Tara ever forgive Wil for screwing up the Roadblock? Should she? Will Chris do something else vaguely appealing and really start messing with my worldview? Will Gary get any worse? CAN he get any worse? Join us soon for Part Two of this very amazing episode.

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Amazing Race




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