Amazing Race
I'm Not A Miner! No, You're An Idiot!, Part I

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Shop Till You Drop

4:11 AM. Team Thunk is first out of the gate this week. Dave is wearing the "D" knit hat, but Gary is going without the "G." It seems to me that those hats really only work in a pair, but...whatever. The clue tells them to get a little boat back to shore, and then find their way to Repulse Bay, where there is a big statue of Tien-Hou, the goddess of the sea, which isn't accessible until 8:00 AM. Phil Phils in the blanks for us, including the requirement that they have to take a public bus. As Thunk heads for shore, Gary voices over that he and Dave have used up their Fast Forward as well as all their brain power. Even he admits this is frightening in terms of future prospects, although it occurs to me that it's also one of those shrug-inspiring exhaustion-of-a-limited-supply issues, like finding out that the DMV has used up its annual allotment of party hats. Once they make it to shore, Gary Whiny-Pants gripes out loud that their "lead has been destroyed by the luck of the clue." Good grief. I mean, yes, it's true that their lead was destroyed, but Fast Forward leads have historically been eliminated relatively quickly -- the FF has not, thus far, proved to be any kind of permanent advantage, and they should know that by now. It's a way to avoid elimination by skipping tasks on a particular day, either because you're injured or worn out (as Cha-Cha-Cha was when they took theirs), or because you have trouble with the clue (as Thunk themselves did last week). So, compared to the situations other teams have encountered, this really isn't particularly unlucky, not that I expect him to change his behavior or anything. When they get ashore, Gary voices over that he doesn't feel confident either looking in the mirror or looking at Dave, so he's "operating out of fear." Which is a great mind-set, except for the "great" part. They get directions from a taxi driver to the bus station, but when they walk up, there seems to be no one there. Of course, it is about 4:15 in the morning, Gary, so whom exactly were you hoping to see? Who takes the bus at 4:15 AM?

5:43 AM. Boston. They open the clue, and take their hundred bucks. "Let's get it on," one of them says. Chris, in super close-up in an interview, says that they're just going to try to have a good leg, and nobody is going to beat them once they take off, because "once we get on the road, Alex and [Chris] are going to smoke everybody's butts." Interesting visual, and perhaps just another situation in which lighting up isn't your best bet. Furthermore, as a general matter, Chris needs to get over his unhealthy fixation on the hind quarters of others, considering that pretty much every week, he is concentrating on kicking, beating, smoking, or otherwise engaging everyone else's butts. Back off, Chris. On the other hand, um...here's the bigger problem: in this particular interview? In this particular close-up? In this particular lighting, and with no hat? Um...yeah. Chris. Like, as in, "Mmm, Chris." I know. This is very, very unsettling. They hop on the boat and head for the shore, and I take two aspirin, hoping that this, too, shall pass.

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Amazing Race

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