Amazing Race
I'm Not A Miner! No, You're An Idiot!, Part I

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Shop Till You Drop

At the ferry terminal, Tara asks about the ferry to the Fast Forward island. The next one is at 6:30. Wil starts to gripe that taking the FFFerry is "nuts." Yeah, I know. You're right, and you're not hallucinating. He's the one who wanted to do the FF before when she didn't. But now he's just sure that Boston will be on the ferry, so he doesn't want to go. Note that before, he wanted to do it because he thought Chris and Alex were going to do it, and now he doesn't want to do it because he thinks they're going to do it. His entire strategy, in other words, is based on what he thinks other teams are going to do, and he's going around in circles outsmarting himself. Furthermore, as they leave, he denies ever having wanted to go for the Fast Forward in the first place, which would be all right if he weren't, you know, on tape suggesting they go for it. "Wil is so worried about the other teams that he doesn't play his own game," Tara correctly voices over. Exactly. She's a kook and a half, but I couldn't have said it better myself.

The Teeth grab a taxi to the bus terminal. (Note that it appears that you don't actually need to go to the bus terminal -- you can go to any number of bus stops, or so it appears from what Alex and Chris did.) Blake is wearing that stupid prep-school jacket again. What a loony. He has at least left the tie, the shorts, and the propeller beanie at home today, so I don't have quite the urge I had previously to knock him in the knuckles with a ruler. Meanwhile, Boston and Thunk arrive at the spot where they need to find the statue of the sea goddess, and a woman shows them right where it is.

Oswald and Danny are looking for the hotel where they intend to ask for some help. "Let's just calm down for a minute, regroup," Oswald says.

Taraweasel get in a cab headed for a bus that can take them to Repulse Bay, having abandoned the Fast Forward. He excoriates her some more for opening her mouth to Boston, saying, "I think they went for it, 'cause you blew it." He orders her, "You're not telling anyone again that we're going for the Fast Forward." Man, on substance, he's right, but seriously, how is she still married to this guy? How did she ever marry this guy in the first place? How has no one beaten the crap out of him on this race yet?

At the bus terminal, Blake and Paige hop aboard the six bus, and they are soon joined by Taraweasel. Cha-Cha-Cha, meanwhile, finds their sought-after concierge and gets the directions they need, just as Wil and Tara and the Teeth de-bus. When they reach the flag at the statue, they find Boston and Thunk waiting there, and Wil tells Alex that he'd been afraid they'd go for the Fast Forward. "I knew you wouldn't do that to me," Tara says, throwing herself into the Alex arms. Alex gallantly says that once Tara told him that she and Wil were FF'ing, he foreswore the option. Whatever. The timing of Tara's embrace of Alex, as well as Wil's complete misunderstanding of why Alex is saying he wouldn't have gone for the FF, leads to a rather riotous situation in which Wil gratefully says, "Cool, then we are in an alliance" at literally the moment his wife is in the air with her legs wrapped around Alex. I am not kidding. Boston interviews about how they're still seeing how it goes with the alliance, and Wil in turn (and in his Horrible Hat) interviews that he likes Chris and Alex, but eventually, winning will mean not being a big happy polygamous family anymore. Good point.

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Amazing Race




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