Amazing Race
I'm Not A Miner! No, You're An Idiot!, Part II

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Dorks on Golf

Golf. Blake and Paige tee off again at the Tee for Hole #4. Smack, putt, putt, sink. Woo-hoo! D'oh! It's Hole #2. Oh, dear. "This is a nightmare, Blake," Paige says. She says that they need a nice short hole to play, probably in part so they don't get lost along the way.

Danny and Oswald greet the burly miner with the not-too-auspicious opening line, "Don't laugh at us." They hand over their specimen, and he shakes his head. Not an opal. "What is that?" Danny asks. "A rock," replies Burly. Heh.

Golf, part trois. This time, the Teeth tee off from Tee #6, and manage to locate Hole #6. Thank goodness -- I was beginning to think this was turning into Putting for Godot. Blake tells her he's pretty sure the golf is faster than the mining, even though they've screwed it up. He's probably right -- this reminds me a little bit of Esquire pointing out last season that getting their asses thoroughly kicked by Spanky the eight-year-old ping-pong prodigy, while humiliating and hard on the ego, only took about five minutes. I suspect that the kind of kamikaze golf that the Teeth have been playing is only taking them a few minutes per hole, so this delay is probably not all that extreme.

The miners are growing weary. "This is a pain in the ass," Danny says, and Oswald gravely replies, "Danny, we're never going to finish." Gary, for some reason, isn't digging in the pile of rocks, but is whacking away at the wall of the mine with his shovel. He's quite the clever one, no?

Blake tees off for Hole #3. Whack, putt, putt -- score! Hole #3.

Meanwhile, back in the mine, Gary is complaining (and complaining and complaining) about the task. "I feel like we're no closer to getting this than when we started," he says, which I have to think is partly because he and Dave are smacking the damn walls instead of sifting through the pile of rocks like they're supposed to. Furthermore, that's how a task like this works. It doesn't go incrementally. You have to show patience, and then you suddenly find your opal. Gary suggests they change tracks and go do the golf. "How hard can it be?" he wonders.

Speaking of golf, the Teeth tee off for their old friend, Hole #1. Paige's initial shot is a monster, and it puts them directly on the green...which isn't green, of course, given the terrain, but the idea is the important thing. One little putt, and they're there. Finally, they've completed Golf for Madmen, and they can take off. They're actually the first to get out of the Detour, and first to get the clue that tells them to go to Lookout 2 at the Breakaways National Park. Phil explains that the park is twenty-nine miles away, and we finally get the shot you know they've been waiting to provide, which is a series of kangaroos hopping across the landscape.

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Amazing Race

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