Amazing Race
I'm Not A Miner! No, You're An Idiot!, Part II

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Dorks on Golf

10:06 PM. Teeth. Blake says that for them, "this next leg is the entire race." A nice sentiment, except that Blake says things like this a lot. He's said repeatedly that the entire race comes down to a particular task, or that everything depends on how they do at this or that Roadblock...he's certainly got a flair for the dramatic, does the Glowtoothed Boy. He also says "all the sacrifices [they've] made have been to prepare for this next leg." Sacrifices? Wow, I'm getting all misty-eyed remembering how Paige didn't let him buy as much jewelry as he wanted in Bangkok after he'd already bought himself a pair of sunglasses. Or maybe he's talking about when that guy in the store wouldn't sell him the book. It seems to me all he's given up is the cowboy hat. What ever happened to the cowboy hat, anyway?

Back to the Intrigue portion of our program. In the Teeth's cab, Paige explains that she and Blake are going for the Fast Forward, because -- get this -- Chris told them that he and Alex are going for the Fast Forward, but the Teeth have decided that he was lying. I think Blake and Paige understand that Chris told them that Boston was going for the FF so that the Teeth wouldn't go for it. But because of the Adultery Alliance, Blake and Paige think Boston did this to allow Taraweasel to go for the FF uncontested or to ensure that nobody went for it at all. So Boston's attempt to prevent anyone from competing with them for the Fast Forward has backfired on their northeastern necklessness, because Blake and Paige think Boston is trying to screw them. Ha! Sometimes I just love the Teeth. They come up with such wacko maneuvers when they try to be tricky. They're like the bumbling international spies in a cheesy afternoon movie. Pretty much all that's left now is for Blake to pull a canister of microfilm out of his pants.

At the Fast Forward café, Chris and Alex order their meat pies. They scarf them in about three bites, pausing only to ask for Cokes to wash them down. Alex tries to get Chris to eat faster, which gives the whole thing a lovely Animal House sort of vibe. It also causes Chris to talk with his mouth full, which -- all right, no. I refuse to declare that cute. The Club For Women Who Do Not Find Appallingly Stupid Things Attractive will take away my membership card, and they will never give it back. Anyway, they finally finish eating and collect the clue, which tells them to go to an aboriginal bush camp near a town called Coober Pedy. Phil repeats the info. Can I buy you a drink, Phil? You're clearly not busy. Chris and Alex head for the airport.

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Amazing Race

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