Bolo and Lori are driving. She doesn't like the vague nature of Bolo's directions, and he leans into the front seat to show her the map that it looks like they got with their clue, which indeed is a highly unhelpful depiction that looks like it could only end at a buried time capsule or a box of baseball cards. I strongly suspect that map was originally drawn in crayon. Don and MJ aren't doing well with the map either, unless they're supposed to be driving through weeds, which I (and they) kind of suspect they aren't. "This is obviously not right," Don says.
Spazpants arrives at the Viking Village. As he goes to close the trunk of the car, Jonathan hits Victoria on the head. Now, if you've ever been beaned on the head with a trunk lid, you know that that shit hurts. A lot. Creepily, he doesn't even flinch at doing this -- doesn't show that instinctive jump of concern that normal people experience when they feel something they're moving hit somebody else and cause them pain, even accidentally. Victoria clutches her head and gasps in pain, but Jonathan doesn't even appear to notice, which was very, very unsettling to me. ["Me too. When your spouse doesn't at least apologize for injuring you, he needs to not be your spouse anymore." -- Wing Chun] When they get to the clue box, Jonathan takes out his clue, raises his arms over his head, and shrieks. "YEEEAAAHH!" Up under the shelter, Lena chuckles involuntarily, because...what else can you do? I suspect that's how I'd react.
As Spazpants heads toward the other teams, Jonathan -- who apparently doesn't see them yet -- hollers, "We're number one!" "No, we're not," Victoria says with disgust. Kristy and Lena laugh more. "You're a whiner! And a complainer! And we're number one!" Jonathan shouts at Victoria as they run. "We're not number one," she repeats. "Look, there's people here, Jon, we're not number one." When they get up to the cabin, Jonathan hugs Lena and asks what number they actually are. "Three," she says. "We're three?" he says, trying to maintain his excitement. "I knew that the teams were not smart enough to find this," he says haughtily to Lena and Kristy. He points at his wife. "She had no confidence in me," he says mockingly. He warms up to a mighty, lecturing bellow, emphasizing every word with a wave of his clue: "This game teaches you about yourself. I cannot believe..." He turns to his wife, inspired. "You owe me an apology," he demands, pointing at her. "I am sorry," she says readily. "You owe me a big apology," he continues, not satisfied. "You need to look inside yourself." He gets more and more cranked up. "You need to look inside yourself and do something different," he yells. Yeah. I'll say she needs to do something different. Like running quickly away from this abusive dork as fast as your legs can carry you. I'm going to have to make my peace with this situation, because I like much of the rest of the cast and it's still a great show, but...Christ, don't they screen these people within an inch of their lives? Who let this fucker through the cracks, anyway? I personally believe that the magnitude of the blunder committed in choosing these people is serious enough that if I were in charge of it, I'd consider some new blood in casting. Bickering is one thing, but nobody wants to spend a season watching anyone suffer to this degree. And that's all I'm going to say about it, because that's all I really can say about it. But you can rest assured that whenever they cross the screen, I'm thinking it.