The Paolos reach Quepos. Wally and the Tonyas and the Linzes are in town, too. All of these teams jockey to get to the beach and get parked, and the Paolos are the first to get out of their car and run. They all start hassling Mama P to go faster. It turns out that the Paolos parked farther away than they needed to, so the Bransens and Linzes catch them in their cars while the Paolos are running, so these two teams get parked and give chase on foot. Three teams, running for the pit stop. Eventually, the Linzes see the Paolos up ahead and desperately want to pass them, but Megan says she can't run anymore. There's a brief shot of Alex running with Megan on his back, but that's not a good arrangement for them -- she's not itty-bitty, and he's not that powerful, so he puts her down.
First to hit the mat are...the Paolos. Who, you quickly realize, are only sure they're not last, because they know the Linzes are behind them. They are quite surprised to hear that they're first. And their prize this week is that each of the four of them has won their choice of a Segway, a Vespa, an ATV, or a jet ski. Hasn't the Segway become self-parody yet? I literally only know the Segway as part of jokes. Anyway, there's a lot of very genuine hugging of Mama P, and that's good, at least. DJ interviews that his mother has "exceeded [his] expectations." He even says, "She's proved me wrong." And for him? That's pretty impressive. I still refuse to like him, though. Tony even throws in an interview about loving his wife. It's like Stop Taking Mama For Granted Week at Casa Paolo. I still don't like all the fighting, but I'll admit that my dislike of them is not what it once was.
The Linzes are next in, and they're happy to be team number two, under the circumstances. Bransens are right behind them, so they're team number three. Phil gives the Tonyas a little bit of a hard time about how they smell. Then the Gadzookskis come into town and land in fourth place.
So...now, it's Weavers and Gaghans. My most despised team and my most beloved. Oh, why does it always come to this? And why do I almost always get hosed? In the Gaghan car, Billy asks whether they're probably in last place. "We're racing to the finish line," Bill tells him. "That's all I want to see from you, all right?" Carissa turns around and announces to her brother, "Winners never quit; quitters never win." Oy. I bet he wanted to pull her hair for that one. Papa tells them that's exactly right, as the spot-on editors shift to Tammy's face. Because she is the one who will break your heart clean in two right now. Because she knows they're in last place, and she knows that they lost it on something that she was doing. I don't at all think it was necessarily her fault, because they'll never know what would have happened if Bill had done it, and it certainly wouldn't necessarily have gone better if the kids had done it, but she was in the pilot seat when it went bad, so you know how she feels. People feel bad enough when that happens to them with a regular teammate, but with your kids? When, among other things, you're just having a ridiculously good time that you aren't ready to stop having? Come on. You know that would be horrible.