Anyway, Mama Weaver is bitching about how she's "sick of doing stuff [she] can't do," whine whine, and then she just kind of...drives the van out of the mud. All at once. And then she keeps driving, and it's not even clear where she's going, and her kids are running after her, and for a minute, it looks like this might get especially awesome as she deserts her children in Costa Rica to run off in a production-provided van with Xavier JAY-vier, but it never does. Instead, they hop in the car and they're on their way. Boo!
The Gaghans bring their relics back to the archeologist. They read the pit stop clue. As they walk to the car, Carissa says, "It would be great if Phil says, 'Gaghan Family, you're team number five'!" Well, I certainly think it would. "Somebody could have gotten really lost," Tammy observes, and it's completely true. Knowing that they even crossed paths with the Weavers, it's not outside the realm of possibility, so they're right to keep burning until the end. Also, it increases the suffering all around, and what's not to like about that?
The Paolos reach Quepos. Wally and the Tonyas and the Linzes are in town, too. All of these teams jockey to get to the beach and get parked, and the Paolos are the first to get out of their car and run. They all start hassling Mama P to go faster. It turns out that the Paolos parked farther away than they needed to, so the Bransens and Linzes catch them in their cars while the Paolos are running, so these two teams get parked and give chase on foot. Three teams, running for the pit stop. Eventually, the Linzes see the Paolos up ahead and desperately want to pass them, but Megan says she can't run anymore. There's a brief shot of Alex running with Megan on his back, but that's not a good arrangement for them -- she's not itty-bitty, and he's not that powerful, so he puts her down.
First to hit the mat are...the Paolos. Who, you quickly realize, are only sure they're not last, because they know the Linzes are behind them. They are quite surprised to hear that they're first. And their prize this week is that each of the four of them has won their choice of a Segway, a Vespa, an ATV, or a jet ski. Hasn't the Segway become self-parody yet? I literally only know the Segway as part of jokes. Anyway, there's a lot of very genuine hugging of Mama P, and that's good, at least. DJ interviews that his mother has "exceeded [his] expectations." He even says, "She's proved me wrong." And for him? That's pretty impressive. I still refuse to like him, though. Tony even throws in an interview about loving his wife. It's like Stop Taking Mama For Granted Week at Casa Paolo. I still don't like all the fighting, but I'll admit that my dislike of them is not what it once was.
The Linzes are next in, and they're happy to be team number two, under the circumstances. Bransens are right behind them, so they're team number three. Phil gives the Tonyas a little bit of a hard time about how they smell. Then the Gadzookskis come into town and land in fourth place.