Amazing Race
I'm Sick Of Doing Stuff I Can't Do

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
What's the matter with Florida?

Mama Weaver finally lands a cab to the bus station. The Bransens, too. As the Bransens climb in their cab, Carissa reports to Bill that she just saw "the powder blue team" (I believe) getting in their cab. He confirms to her that they want to stay out front and go fast so that they can get on the second bus. The Bransens pile into their tiny cab, and in a shot that appears to be taken from inside a clown car, one of them notes that she's, "like, on Dad's belly." Yeah, that looks like a tight fit. At least Wally is good for something to his put-upon daughters, even if it is just cushioning. I suppose his next introductory remark will be that he turned out to be pointier than he thought, and he hopes the Tonyas are not disappointed.

The Paolos get to the bus station and start looking for Tica, the company running their charter. They find the window, and they pull the first ticket from the stack, which has an 11:30 AM time. So, you'll note, they're not leaving until midday the following day. The Gadzookskis will really have to hurry if they're going to raise the money to get to the bus station in only fourteen hours! This will take real ingenuity! Their begging will have to net them probably $1.50 an hour to make that tight deadline! (Proposed: The Gadzooskis could have found enough change in the pay telephones of Panama to make it to the bus station in that period of time, not to mention finding a cab driver willing to give them a ride in return for their mosquito-proof hat and a thong for the wife.) The Paolos vacate to an upstairs area where they can still peer down over a railing at the action near the Tica counter. Mama conspiratorially comments, "I don't want Florida to see us."

The Linzes are the next team to arrive at the station. When the Paolos notice them -- "the Cincinnati guys," Mama notes, because these teams genuinely do not call each other by their names, ever, with the exception of "Tammy and Bill" -- DJ helps them find their way to the Tica window. When they've pulled the second of the two 11:30 times, Mama says to the family that they should yell out to whoever comes in next to help them find the window, as long as it's not the Weavers. DJ confirms in an interview that they didn't want "the Florida team" to get on their bus. Probably didn't want to repeat the Waffle House experience, not to mention the pre-Waffle-House panic. I have a feeling that once on a bus with those folks is probably enough. "They'd better fend for themselves, because nobody's going to help them," he says. I do believe the Weavers have probably noticed that, but it appears they wouldn't trust anyone enough to accept help anyway. Ouch.

And now, at 9:43 PM, here go the flat-broke Gadzookskis. They take note of the $74 they're being told they don't have. They leave the mat, with Christine hypothesizing that it will take them about $40 for the cab. They head to a resort to do their begging. In an interview, they vow to "use [their] feminine charm." Squick. The first guy they try to flirt with says, "I don't have money. I have...love." Oh, burn. In fairness, they kind of deserved that, since he offered them what they technically acted like they wanted with their "feminine charm." Just love! It's about love! They find some more guys, and these guys have money. Wow, that was close! Only fourteen hours to spare! I think I almost got a nosebleed from the tension there. They manage enough to get a taxi for the bus terminal. Can we officially declare that the mugging thing is a bust, now that we've so firmly established that it never, ever, ever makes any difference, and the only thing is does is force us to watch identical "Pleeeeease?" "Weeeeell, okay" scenes over and over again? Can we?

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Amazing Race

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