Amazing Race
I'm Sick Of Doing Stuff I Can't Do

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
What's the matter with Florida?

Next to the bus station are the Gaghans, followed closely by the Weavers. These teams run into the bus station very close to each other, leaving DJ up on his high perch, trying to figure out how to holler information to Bill and Tammy without giving it to the Weavers. It's all very dramatic, with yelling and running and "Bill, Bill, right there!" But...see, the next two times are the same. It makes no difference who wins this little race, and it's obvious. The Weavers, incidentally, win the skirmish, grabbing the first of the two 12:00 times while the Gaghans get the second. I'm certainly not hearing the Significance Alarm off of that little bit of business.

Who did get screwed is the team of Wally and the Tonyas, who are just now pulling up outside. When they get in the terminal, they grab the first of the two dead-last 12:30 PM times. The pinks show up some time later and dutifully claim their time. The teams proceed to congregate upstairs, and the pinks think they still need to be trying to get money. They hit up the Weavers for five dollars, and what they don't show here is what came out on the Insider videos, which was that Mama Weaver apparently expected all sorts of favors and a map in return for her five dollars, to the point where they were tempted to give it back to her. But they didn't. Heh. I mean...it's five dollars, you know? If you don't want to give it to them, don't. If you want to make a deal, make it before the money changes hands. But standing around all, "I gave you five dollars, you owe me" is just not going to win you any friends. It's five dollars. And they have twelve hours before they have to leave, and have I mentioned that it's five dollars?

That night, the teams all have a snooze on the floor of the bus station. Man, I wonder how they passed those twelve hours or so. I have a feeling that there were many games invented during this race, such as Rolled-Up Sock Trash Can Basketball, Rolled-Up Sock Keep-Away, and Texas Hold 'Em With A Three-Rolled-Up-Sock Limit On Raises. At any rate, at 11:30 the next morning, the Linzes and Paolos get on the first bus to Costa Rica. People dutifully note that Costa Rica is pretty. Even Alex. Hey, I'm learning to tell the members of Phi Delta Epsi-Linz apart fairly reliably. Good for me. At 12:00, the Gaghans and Weavers leave. By the way, from the picture on the side of every bus, they are apparently traveling on Kanga-Reindeer Lines. The things they're doing with genetic engineering these days. Next: lengthening Phil's torso.

On the Gaghan bus, Bill explains that giving your kids the opportunity to see really poor people is a "great gift." But he says it better than I did, so it doesn't sound quite so sadistic. Hey, I freely admit that everything sounds worse coming from me. At 12:30, the last bus, carrying the Bransens and Godlewskis, takes off. On the bus, Michelle points out that they are no longer last -- they are tied for last, thank you very much. Oh, Michelle. It's early. You haven't even been thrown into a single Random Order Scrambling Situation yet, and each episode this season has at least, like, five of those.

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Amazing Race

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