Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 471 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Clueless, On Several Fronts

12:33 AM. Eric and Pink. For no particular reason, as they leave the mat, Eric uses the expression "Peace out, cub scout," which makes me conflate Eric and my nephews in a way that doesn't make me very happy. Pink tells us that Eric has a way of forgetting she's on the team. I think we all have a way of forgetting that, dear. And then she asks him -- I kid you not -- "How are you reading and walking at the same time?" And he answers -- again with the not even kidding -- "Because I'm amazing." Always good to date a girl who sets the bar low. She tells us that she's trying to keep up with Eric, even though she's only a girl. She does actually say this, believe it or not. She needs about six kinds of reeducation, and I think I will start by sending her to Jill Camp.

12:34 Uchenna and Joyce. Uchenna says he thinks that if they make good decisions, they'll do just fine. Way to go out on a limb.

Up at the church, Danny and Oswald find the clue box. Behind them, Eric and Pink are following Team Guido, heading for the episode's first goofy dust-up. The teams stop, and Bill hops out to ask directions. Eric and Pink see the directions being given and are apparently able to tell from the gesturing that they're supposed to keep going straight, because they drive off ahead of Bill and Joe, which really pisses Bill off, since they seem to be taking advantage of the directions he pulled over to get. The teams stop to grab the Puerto Montt clue, and Bill's all, "I want to talk to you," and he starts complaining about what they did. Eric isn't very impressed, and it's all pretty silly, honestly. All of a sudden, he's the one who wants to be attending the Amazing Montessori School, and I thought we resolved that several seasons ago. It only gets sillier when Bill stands in front of where Eric and Pink are parked so that they can't leave until he's done reading his clue. It's infantile, but... when Eric starts being all "you can't block my car," you have to kind of think he's reaping what he sowed a little bit, with the "we're in a race" and "anything to get ahead." It's actually Joe who brings Bill down a little bit and says they should just leave and not get in a fight. Eric chuckles about what "whiners" Bill and Joe are as they drive off, and... whatever. They're still cooler than you, dink, and they will be until you get a dog and stay with the same person for 15 years, so bite me. Oh, and? If you want to be the arbiter of cool, stay away from nipple rings.

Amazing Race

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