Amazing Race
I'm Sorry I'm Wearing A Bathing Suit. It Is Very Weird, I Know

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Clueless, On Several Fronts

And here are David and Mary. Despite David's well-documented fear of fish, he decides to take this Roadblock, which seems insane to me. Like, don't be a hero! And indeed, David can't even bring himself to touch the fish. "WHY AREN'T YOU GETTIN' ANY?" Mary demands loudly, and then she tells the camera, "David don't never touch fish; he's afraid of fish." So I guess she just answered her own question there. David tells us that he's "not a water person." Yeah, it doesn't seem like it.

Uchenna has finished the Roadblock. He looks on the bottom to read the clue, and here's what it says: "Find the sign for La Maquina along the river just before the town of Petrohue and search for your next clue." Or that's approximately what it says, anyway. Phil explains that you have to drive 50 miles toward Petrohue, and right before you get there, there's this "La Maquina" sign, and that's where the clue is. For whatever reason, right along here, David overcomes his fear of fish and goes on autopilot, at which point he just starts picking them up like crazy. I wonder if this will be like my parents' dog getting over his fear of the basement. Take him down there once, and then he's fine, after spending about eight years terrified of it. Maybe now, David will love fish forever. Teach a man to caress fish, you know? Once he starts doing better, Mary tells him she loves him. She's kind of a fair-weather wife. Or a fair-fish wife. Hee hee, "fishwife." Just kidding!

Joe is next to finish, but all he writes down of the clue is the part about finding the sign for La Maquina along the river. He totally misses the Petrohue part, which is how you know you have to drive, like, 50 miles from where you are in order to find the clue. You can almost hear the "wah wah waaaaaah" music. When Mirna and Charla show up, Mirna takes the Roadblock. As Joe and Bill leave, just ahead of Rob and Amber, you can tell that they're in big trouble, because they don't have the clue down at all. Eric and Pink take off just after Rob and Amber. Pink tells Eric, in case he didn't notice, that she really, really hates fish. At least she can feel good about her boobs, considering that her "boyfriend" yelled about them for about half an hour.

As soon as Mirna gets in the tank, she starts freaking out about the fish. I mean, you could have predicted it, but it's still funny. What's great is that she's not just wigged; she's shrieking and shrinking back in terror, like she really thinks this big, flat fish is going to do something to her. Exactly what, I cannot imagine. She just keeps sort of going, "Eh-HWEH! Nn-hnn, nn-nn," this endless pathetic whimper. So when they said they weren't pushovers, I guess that didn't anticipate running into something incredibly threatening, like fish.

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Amazing Race

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