Amazing Race
I'm Supposed To Be Indebted To Her For The Rest Of The Race?!

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Miss Alli: A | 2 USERS: A+
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Flights of fancy, flats of fate

In other disaster news, Gerard hops out and looks at the front right tire and sees that it's in the process of going flat. Ken's response is to get him back in the car and start going. Eek. My father would really, really frown on that.

On the Train of Doom, Andre asks the conductor how they get off the train and get back going in the right direction to Innsbruck. Apparently, we don't get to see what I'm sure was the very unhappy moment when they realized they'd missed their stop. ["I wondered about that for a second before figuring that the editors were like, 'We'll have to bleep everything in the clip but conjunctions, so let's not bother.'" -- Sars] The conductor tells them they need to get off the train at Salzburg. I would point out that my sources put the distance between Salzburg and Innsbruck at 115 miles, so this is not like sleeping through your stop on the subway. These guys traveled almost 250 unnecessary miles by train. Yow.

Ken is now driving on the flat tire. All I can think about is the dangling camera guy leaning out the window or out the door or wherever to get this shot. The hell? It's very nice work, though, which calls to mind this week's next order of business: How much do I love the camera guys and the sound guys? So much. They run the whole race, they lose their sleep and their rhythms and their minds as well, they get detained by the authorities, and they run up hills and across cities and through the crowded streets of this chaotic marketplace! They keep up with Jill and John Vito! They tolerate Aahab's whining! They lean out of cars to get critical flat-tire footage! And what do they get for their trouble? Well, if they're very lucky, some dimwit team comes home and makes up a fairy tale about how they were responsible for said dimwit team's elimination, not that they can go on The Early Show and defend themselves. So because there is no glory in traipsing around giving chase to all teams great and especially all teams very, very small, please spare a moment of appreciation for Your Camera Guys (and I am following the credits, doing the best that I can, so someone will correct me if I'm wrong, I'm sure): Sylvestre "Tweety" Campe, David "The Burger" Gaines, Chip "Bud" Goebert, Per A.C. "D.C." Larsson, Jeff "Screamin'" Leemon, Loy "The Toy" Norrix, Dave "Chuckles" Ross, Uri "Twinkletoes" Sharon, Scott "The Belly" Shelley, Scott "Nancy" Walker, Dave E. "Street" West, and Peter "The Dominator" Wery. And while I'm at it, let's not forget Your Sound Guys: Jonathan D. "Julie" Andrews, Heron "Great Blue" De Alencar, Dean "Of Students" Gaveau, Dan "Jodie" Foster, Peter "The Coyote" Jones, Shadley "Carole" Lombard, David "Junkyard Dog" McJunkin, Eric "Ed" McMahon, Gustavo Rodrigues "Vasco da" Gama, Willie Monie "Dysfunctional Relation" Shipp, Jim "Underdog" Ursulak, Gil "The Thrill" Wells, Barry "Zito" Weissman, and Brian "Matlock" Whitlock. Take heart, y'all. Dimwits have a way of seeing what goes around come around, sooner or later.

At any rate, in the back seat, Gerard is despairing over the fact that they're still driving on the dead tire. He's trying not to look horrified, despite the fact that he is completely horrified. He's chuckling and insisting that he is not making faces. "I've done plenty of crazy things on this race," he says gamely, trying to at least pretend to be supportive of Kenny. "You've done many crazy things on this race," Kenny agrees. Gerard points at the back of the front seat and silently mouths, "Not as many as you." Hee!

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Amazing Race

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