Amazing Race
I'm Supposed To Be Indebted To Her For The Rest Of The Race?!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Flights of fancy, flats of fate

3:25 AM. Teri and Ian. Teri apparently isn't sure that the concept of the race is clear to people who have only seen six episodes, so she starts by saying, "It's time to leave Marrakech, let's see where we're going." Hey, Teri, I know! You should look in that sealed envelope! I bet it has a clue in it! Figure it out for yourself! Criminy. She opens the clue, which tells them that they need to fly to Munich, Germany. One of the themes of this episode is Let's Make Miss Alli Spell Hard Things In German (And Let's Make Phil Pronounce Them), and it all starts with Friedensengel, which is the statue they need to find when they get to Munich. Near the statue, they will find Kasperle, who appears to be Germany's most famous really, really annoying puppet. He has a big hat with a tassel on it that he swings around in a jaunty fashion. I hate this puppet on sight. I am almost spurred to action of some sort, but somehow, I think it would be impolite to react to someone else's beloved children's icon by opening up a stand nearby and selling souvenir T-shirts that say "DIE PUPPET DIE." Anyway, Kasperle The Detestable Puppet has the next clue.

Ian, in his ugly hat and salmon-pink grampa-shirt (wow, perfect for golf AND misogynist haranguing!), leads his unfortunate wife off the mat, and they depart the Riad Catalina. Apparently, the first challenge in this leg of the race is getting out of the building, which you wouldn't think would present too much of a problem, unless you've watched these contestants before. I honestly think some of them couldn't find the keg at a frat party. Outside, Ian impatiently snots at the Asshat cab driver that they'll be going to the airport, and orders him to open the trunk. The driver already has regrets about stopping, I'm sure, but there's nothing he can do now. As Ian drives along with his wife, vacant and dead-eyed expressions on both their faces, he voices over that he's waited a terribly long time to hear Phil welcome him to the mat first, and now he has finally achieved his goal. "If we run a clean race from here on out, and not make any more major mistakes, we should be in a good position to run for the gold at the end." Ian, Ian, Ian. Bunching, dude. Look. It. Up. It's going to track you down, throw you against a wall, and give you a wedgie you will never forget.

At the airport, Team Asshat looks up at the Arr/Dep board, and they discuss two possible routes -- one through Paris, and one through Zurich. It appears at this point that they're just trying to get to Europe on one of a very small number of available flights, rather than book a specific connection, because one of the reasons Ian wants to go through Zurich is that he simply thinks it's closer to Munich than Paris is. "We need to leave these guys in the dust," Ian says. Wow, I agree with him. I think the race is almost over. They should just give him the money now. That's some lead he's developing, and it's hard to believe that anything could jeopardize it, as long as nothing that has ever happened on the show before ever happens again.

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Amazing Race

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