Amazing Race
It Doesn't Say Anything About First Come, First Served. And We're Bigger.

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
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We Open in Venice

11:52 PM. The Sister-Kissing Alliance prepares to leave. They wait on the mat in the darkness, and then they all rip their clues open at the same time. Rrrrrip! We hurtle through the streets of Cortina with little regard for our own safety as Phil explains that this task involves a one and one-half mile trip through Cortina to the bottom of Trampolino Olimpico, an Olympic ski jump. There, they'll catch a van that will take them to the top of the hill, where they'll hop in an inflatable raft and sled down to the bottom. Cortina d'Ampezzo was, in case you aren't aware, the site of the 1956 Winter Olympics, so when they say "Olympic," it's not like when the YMCA tells you they have an Olympic pool.

The Sister-Kissers stroll away from the mat as Josh voices over that he and his dad used to have "a terrible relationship" and didn't like each other. Hard. To. Believe. He says that now, though, they'll work together for the good of the team. I really hope he's not entirely ruling out a Great Santini-style fistfight with crying, because I would really enjoy that. Inside the hotel, Millie asks where the Trampolino Olimpico is, exactly. The guy tells her that it's about a mile thataway. The Sister-Kissers obligingly run thataway, with someone complaining that the other teams will be right on their tails. During the running, Chuck and Millie explain how their twelve-year relationship and continued virginity proves how determined they are and how much will power they have. See, that is where they're going to start annoying me. As with most choices that people make, it's not the choice that bugs, it's your attitude about it. Furthermore, you'd better believe that the people who originally wrote the "no sex before marriage" rule didn't put it in their computer model that you would date for twelve years. I don't think it was intended to be the celibacy equivalent of a dance marathon. Life was short back then; all you had to do was wait long enough to unmake the bed and get out of your seventeen layers of underwear, and you'd probably be married already.

Chris, meanwhile, voices over that his "aggressive, competitive nature" might be upsetting to Amanda, since he can basically be a raging jerk sometimes. (I am paraphrasing.) I'm sure, by the way, that Chris and Amanda and other single racers really appreciate watching the show with their grandparents and having to stare at the conspicuous empty space under their names after "DATING" where the word "VIRGINS" would otherwise appear. For some reason, we see Millie and Chuck tell us again that the three teams that stepped on the mat together in first place yesterday formed an alliance. Yeah, we know. We got that part from the tie, the "wooo!," the high-fives, the fact that you're all traveling in a pack, and several other subtle clues.

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Amazing Race

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