Amazing Race
It Doesn't Say Anything About First Come, First Served. And We're Bigger.

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
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We Open in Venice

1:22 AM. Jon and Al. They ask a hotel guy about getting a taxi. Jon, of course, can't just thank the guy, but has to make it into a whole thank-you routine, with which the hotel guy looks indulgent but thoroughly bored. We then have to see them leaning against a wall, yawning and doing Tired Clowns. And when I say "tired"? TIRED. In a voice-over, they call themselves "morale makers," and remind us yet again that they are clowns. In case. Anyone. Forgot. By the way, whoever stuck the deedle-deedle-deedle circus music in the background can just cut it out right now. Like I'm not annoyed enough already.

Kelly and Jon make their second trip down the hill, and this time they bring the sled. AAAAAAAAAAH! At the bottom, they snag a cab driver, and ask him, "Can you take us to the bus station?" Or, as Kelly says, "the boose station." Why would a guy who knows "can you take us to the" and "station" not know "bus" unless you pronounce it like a Bronson Pinchot character? As they put their bags in the cab, she allows as how her butt is indeed a little sore, and adds that she and Jon decided that because they had spent a lot of money already, they'd take a bus to the Calalzo train station instead of a taxi.

1:44 AM. Russell and Cindy. As they leave the mat, she yammers some more about how she's "very attracted" to this controlling, ungrateful jerk -- not that she has the presence of mind to use those words -- and how he's "smart" and "intelligent" and she has "very strong feelings" for him. Russell, meanwhile, says that he's not fooling around with Cindy during the race, because -- as he puts it -- "I wasn't traveling 40,000 miles for sex." That's right, he wasn't. He was, instead, traveling 40,000 miles to beat Wil's record for zero-to-mean-bastard by directing his vitriol at a reasonably nice but evidently clueless woman rather than at a manipulative chick who gives just as good as she gets. You've got to have a goal.

Jon and Kelly get out of their cab at the Cortina bus station, and Jon also seems to admit to a little butt pain as he clambers out. He's lucky he didn't leave 62% of his body snagged on various jags of ice on the hill, so I'm thinking he should be grateful that this is as far as it went. Inside, Kelly and Jon figure out how to get the bus to the train station.

Back at the hotel, Russell and Cindy are trying to figure out where to go. They've apparently decided to try to walk to the hill, but they seem lost.

Clowns. Hill. AAAAAAAAAH! Clue.

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Amazing Race

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