Amazing Race
It Doesn't Say Anything About First Come, First Served. And We're Bigger.

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
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We Open in Venice

Finally, at 3:43 AM, Tian and Jaree make the last exit from the pit stop. As they run through the streets with their no-hands headlamp, Tian voices over that she's going to have to push Jaree, because Jaree doesn't naturally run very fast. Boy, she picked a partner who doesn't run very fast? Wow, it's a good thing it's not a race.

Russell and Cindy. Hill. Double-axel. AAAAAAAAAH! Clue.

Back at the train station, the intrigue builds as Monica and Sheree pass the info to the Pectoral College (consisting of the Chipsters and the newly-arrived David and Jeff) that some of the other teams have it in for all four of them. Chip explains this in a quick interview, and says that he's not too pleased to find himself on a hit list. He also refers to Monica and Sheree as "moles." Heh. ["Sure, moles. Or annoying suck-ups. Your call." -- Wing Chun] Reichen, meanwhile, decides that he is nobody's fool, and that he's going to defy the line. Defy it, I say! He has decided the line is "just a big mental game," which is rather hilarious, since waiting in line by a door would be probably the most dippy mental game anyone ever came up with, aside from what he's about to do. Reichen walks right up to the door of the locked train station and puts his hands on the doors to claim the first place in line, apparently convinced that...I don't know, they're all going to leave on separate trains that have room for one team each, maybe? It's a moron move, in that it has virtually no chance of helping him, and it squanders whatever advantage of pettiness he might have been able to wring from Josh's past misdeeds. In other words, if anyone was ever going to feel sorry for Reichen before, they're certainly not going to now.

Fortunately for the Chipsters, DadSteve decides that he will try to look even goofier than Reichen and Chip do by trying to rely on the fact that his backpack is leaning against the door and claiming that he has firstsies, or whatever. Reichen winds up getting into an argument about this with AirDave, who points out that "somebody had position" but passive-aggressively insists that he won't argue if the Chipsters want pole position. Reichen retorts that he and AirSteve weren't too concerned about who "had position" at LAX. Seriously, Reichen is being a total prick, but AirDave? AirDave has no case, and should shut up, as should DadSteve. I mean, there's a version of waiting-in-line ethics in which the backpack would count for something, but surely in any such system, the actual bodies that were in line at LAX would count for more. It's like they're all angling for who can most quickly kick out from underneath them every leg they have ever had to stand on. "Don't stand there and lecture me about his backpack and a spot in line, give me a break," Reichen spits, in a manner so snotty that he pushes me back over to being on AirDave's side. Then in an interview, Reichen acknowledges that holding onto the door was "really childish" (yes), but fails to acknowledge that it was also really boneheaded, considering that it was obvious that it wasn't going to matter. A bit later, actually as Reichen clings to the door handles, DadSteve tells him that he doesn't really need to literally hang on to the door like that. "I'm gonna," Reichen retorts. I have to say, I haven't seen a fight this cerebrally advanced since the storied battle of My Cat Versus His Shadow: This Time, I'm Gonna Catch It, For Real.

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Amazing Race

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