12:48 AM. Alison and Donny (boooo!). He rips the clue, which tells them to get into a marked car (marked with a red and yellow flag, not marked in the sense of "cursed," though their car will by definition be that as well) and drive to Montevideo, which Alison pronounces as if it were the last part of the sentence, "Did you remember to return that Full Monty video?" The clue then directs them to find the Shake Mega Disco. I immediately suspect that the Shake Mega Disco was named with the help of a special "Slang by Aunt Gladys" magnetic poetry kit. As Phil explains, when the teams get to the disco, they will have to search through all the people dancing, as well as "mountains of foam," to find inflatable globes that have clues hidden inside them. You have to pop the globes to get the clue. Um. Dear Task Planners: Ease up on the weed. Love, Miss Alli. Oh, and Phil would like you to know that the capital of Uruguay is 75 miles away, and it is called "mont-eh-vid-AY-oh," not that he thinks any of you are uncultured buffoons, Alison.
Alison and Donny jump into a red car. They pull out, with her driving, all the while protesting that she doesn't know where she's going. She tells him to find Montevideo on the map, and he tells her to shut up. That's pretty much the party line on Alison, no matter which party you're speaking of, including the party in my family's living room during this episode, which consisted of me, Miss Alli's Mom, Miss Alli's Dad, and Sister S. In an interview, Donny says that all the fighting is pushing him and Alison forward, because all they're doing is yelling at each other to go faster. Keep going with that theory, pumpkin. It's constructive criticism. "Yelling is kind of our way of communicating," Alison adds. Hey, it could be worse. They could throw bricks. Although I guess "worse" is relative. Alison adds that they're "still getting the job done," so there's nothing to worry about, I guess. I suppose they'd have to rethink if they suddenly stopped "getting the job done." I sure hope that won't happen.
12:51. Marshall and Lance, yuck. I don't like them, but at least they get one point for pronouncing "Montevideo" properly. As they confidently drive out, with Marshall (Jerk the Lesser) navigating for Lance (Jerk the Greater) and explaining what "good shape" they're in, they soon find themselves up against a fence. So apparently, Marshall's navigating was not as bulletproof as he was hoping. "What the hell's this?" asks a frustrated Jerk the Greater. Marshall voices over that he believes that he and Lance will do really well as a result of having handled the stress of opening a restaurant. Hey, he has a point. You know who would make an unstoppable racing team? Rocco and Mama. Except that Rocco would have to keep stopping to feel up gate agents and show off his magnificent package for greeters and stuff. They'd definitely have the best snacks, though.