Amazing Race
It Turned Ugly Just Now

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Tango and Cash

Alison and Donny jump into a red car. They pull out, with her driving, all the while protesting that she doesn't know where she's going. She tells him to find Montevideo on the map, and he tells her to shut up. That's pretty much the party line on Alison, no matter which party you're speaking of, including the party in my family's living room during this episode, which consisted of me, Miss Alli's Mom, Miss Alli's Dad, and Sister S. In an interview, Donny says that all the fighting is pushing him and Alison forward, because all they're doing is yelling at each other to go faster. Keep going with that theory, pumpkin. It's constructive criticism. "Yelling is kind of our way of communicating," Alison adds. Hey, it could be worse. They could throw bricks. Although I guess "worse" is relative. Alison adds that they're "still getting the job done," so there's nothing to worry about, I guess. I suppose they'd have to rethink if they suddenly stopped "getting the job done." I sure hope that won't happen.

12:51. Marshall and Lance, yuck. I don't like them, but at least they get one point for pronouncing "Montevideo" properly. As they confidently drive out, with Marshall (Jerk the Lesser) navigating for Lance (Jerk the Greater) and explaining what "good shape" they're in, they soon find themselves up against a fence. So apparently, Marshall's navigating was not as bulletproof as he was hoping. "What the hell's this?" asks a frustrated Jerk the Greater. Marshall voices over that he believes that he and Lance will do really well as a result of having handled the stress of opening a restaurant. Hey, he has a point. You know who would make an unstoppable racing team? Rocco and Mama. Except that Rocco would have to keep stopping to feel up gate agents and show off his magnificent package for greeters and stuff. They'd definitely have the best snacks, though.

Alison and Donny (boooo!), on the other hand, find themselves on a road labeled "Montevideo," so they appear to be on track at last. Getting to Montevideo is officially easier than getting out of downtown Minneapolis. If they have outdoor baseball, I'm totally moving to Uruguay.

At 12:54 AM, it's time for Linda and Karen to leave. And seriously, the matching bowling shirts -- in this case, black and pink -- must go immediately. I can't coexist peacefully with anything that shiny. As they leave, Linda voices over that they know each other very well and have known each other for a long time, and she thinks that as a result, they'll be a tough team. Apparently, she hasn't heard of "familiarity breeds contempt" as a racing mantra, despite how often it rears its ugly head. They find the road to Montevideo. This makes them say, "Woo hoo!" quite a bit more than I'd like. I don't like very much "Woo hoo!", though. Marshall and Lance find the road as well.

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Amazing Race

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