Amazing Race
It Turned Ugly Just Now

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Tango and Cash

In the Bowling Mom car, Linda says that it was "wild in there." She wonders aloud whether there are places like that disco in the United States. Karen insists that there are. "Wheeeere?" Linda screeches. "We don't have that in Palmdale!" "Not in Palmdale," Karen agrees dismissively. "Let's open one!" Linda screeches again. No offense, but I think a foam club operated by moms would probably not attract the really trashy clientele that they'd need in order to make a go of it. The really cutting-edge foam clubs don't serve pizza rolls and Sunny Delight.

In the Colin/Christie car, he looks half-asleep, which isn't so good, considering that he's driving at the moment. Although I did learn this week that three-year-old Little B can eat in his sleep, which he did at the table after half-dozing off during dinner. You haven't lived until you've seen a kid trying to lick jelly off a biscuit with his eyes closed. Anyway, Colin and Christie blow by Charla and Mirna, as Mirna scolds that he's exceeding the speed limit. He waves at them and passes anyway. You'll note that Charla and Mirna have already bled about fifteen minutes since they left the pit stop, as compared to Colin and Christie. As Mirna continues to bitch about Colin's speeding, Charla points out that the speed limit is now substantially higher than Mirna was thinking it was. Sucks to waste all your righteous indignation on a situation where you simply didn't read.

Back among the billowing clouds of foam, Lance unearths the clue and calls for Marshall. Outside the club, they say, "English? English?" until they find a guy who speaks English. They show him the clue. They ask him how to get to the port, and he breaks the news that he doesn't know. In the car, Lance offers the following insight: "All the people there were just...useless. They were useless foreigners." You know, there are a lot of places in the city in which I live that I don't know how to get to. I must be a "useless foreigner." In fact, I secretly suspect that much of the reason Lance and Marshall are here is that in Dallas, many of the "useless foreigners" currently couldn't find their pizza joint with a map, a compass, and a sherpa. So shut it, there, smart guy.

Elsewhere, Chip and Kim are driving, and Kim is calling out the window for directions to the disco. "She looked at me like I was crazy," Kim comments after one particular woman apparently fails to help them. I have to say, that's what I would think if I were strolling along a local street in the middle of the night and somebody screamed out the window that she was looking for the Shake Mega Disco. I might even gesture vaguely in the direction of the police station and then drive as quickly as possible in the other direction. Kami/Karli also leans out their car window and calls for directions, and they get them, because they ask a boy, and they employ all the charm they are so sure they have. "Gracias!" they call in a friendly fashion to the guys who helped them. And then, after the guys are gone, Karli mockingly squeals, "Gracias, gracias!" just so disgusted that she had to pretend to appreciate strangers helping her. Because when you come right down to it, helpful strangers are such pathetic assholes. In an interview, Kami says she's happy to flirt to get information, because "it's a game." Wait, was that flirting? She's kind of bad at it.

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Amazing Race

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