Amazing Race
It Was Like Being Dropped on Planet Mars

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Break It Down

Back from the ads, we get a replay of that sickening moment when a defenseless giraffe was horribly maimed. In an interview, Justin (sitting next to Zev, who's wearing a big conical hat) admits that the giraffe was a mistake. "We grabbed the biggest, tallest thing cause it was closest to us." Which turned out to not be such a time-saver, because now they have to pick it up. Worse yet, Ericka and Brian, the team that left the Pit Stop last, have now arrived at the start of the course. Once the giraffe is upright again, Zev goes about picking up the shrapnel, and interviews that it said in the clue that you have to do that. He has to explain as much to an impatient Justin during the task. They get going again, and not for the first time, I wonder if there's some rule stating that only one member of each team can read the clue.

Brian and Ericka pick out a zebra for symbolic reasons, and in an interview, they clasp their hands together so his light fingers alternate with her dark ones, zebra-like. Okay, that's cute. Lance and Keri are loading up a doe (Just kill me now, it's thinking) as Mika and Canaan debark form their cab. Meghan and Cheyne finish the task in second, and share a very sweaty kiss in the taxi.

Back at the hotel, Marcy figures out that the thing they thought was an O is actually a D. Having satisfied the security guard that they have the right letters, they head downstairs. "Take a deep breath," Marcy tells Ron, and he tells her that she's "the one who seems a little hyped today." Well, one of them needs to develop a sense of urgency here, or we might have to endure Lance for another week.

Gary and Matt finish in third place, nearly dropping their zebra at the very end. Tiffany is now pushing their wolf, while Maria pulls it by the rope attached to the front of the cart. She's also pulling her rolling suitcase, while Tiffany's is under the wolf. Tiffany asks to Maria to slow down. "My legs are burning," she reports. Brian and Ericka get across the road, but start moving a lot faster when they see Lance and Keri coming up behind them. But then Lance loses their red balloon crossing the road, so they have to go back for another one. Why can't he just scream at the balloon to come back? The best part is that Lance leaves their doe in the middle of the road, blocking traffic and making the entire city pay for his fuck-up. Brian and Ericka, meanwhile, extend their lead.

Marcy and Ron are now on the sidewalk, getting impatient with each other for some reason. She explains to him that now they have to use the six letters they've gathered to spell a Vietnamese word. Their strategy? Look around. Oh, shit.

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Amazing Race

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