Amazing Race
It's a Great Place to Become a Millionaire

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Stumbling Toward Ecstasy

After an artistic long-distance shot of the hula drummers through the open mouth of a tiki idol, Art takes what JJ says will be one last try and this time he makes it at last. It's always the last attempt, isn't it? As much as Brendon and Rachel annoy me, I was half hoping for Phil to have to come find them here, with twenty other former racers in tow. They catch up to Team Big Brother at the stone-rolling phase and Art joins in.

Other Rachel and Dave make it back to the dock, Other Rachel saying she wants the million dollars for a week at a spa. Must feel like she has that coming. Dave tells her to see it through and once again they're the first to make it to the giant mat, holding hands all the way. Phil's in a much better mood this time as he greets them with the usual template speech: "[Other] Rachel and Dave! Five continents, nine countries, twenty-two cities and more than thirty-six thousand miles, [Other] Rachel and Dave, you are the winners of the one million dollars and the official winners of The Amazing Race!" He adds that they're the official record-holders of the most wins, which of course is what Dave says he's happiest about and Phil informs the other losers that these two won eight legs. Which they're probably learning for the first time. Phil asks the winners if it was worth it. Other Rachel claims she can't tell him what it's done for their relationship and gets tearful about how hard it was when he was gone for a year and she didn't know if they'd make it. "It was the worst year ever." And then he came home and was a complete asshole, right? "So it was awesome to spend a month together." Wait, what? Dave claims to have a new appreciation for his partner and Other Rachel says she couldn't be more grateful about how this race has brought them closer together. Well, since this is the first indication we've had all season that they can even stand each other, I'll have to take her word for it.

Back at the Roadblock, Art makes it on the next roll, officially passing Team Big Brother... again. "Sorry, Brendon," Rachel says lamely. Art and JJ go, go, go, go, now in second place. "Perfect ending to this day," JJ says as he drives Art out of there. Brendon tells Rachel she's doing good and she actually makes the next one. The judge raises his arms and hops up and down, while Brendon has to coax Rachel out of a pout to even get her in the vehicle. I'm not always sure what racers mean when they say "finish strong" to each other, but I know this isn't it.

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Amazing Race

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