Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A- | 485 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Goodbye, honeys

Danny and Oswald pull up to the museum and see that it's closed. They park their RV across the street for the night.

Sunrise. Happy Lifetime-Network Piano Music Of Renewed Hope. Here is your two-second shot of shirtless Boston, taken through the window of their camper, which makes it look a bit voyeuristic. Is that a plus or a minus? Only you can decide -- a girl's (or boy's) kinks are personal to her/him. Alex voices over that somebody's going home today. "It's not going to be Chris and I," he says. (Wait a minute, let me check my notes…there was something about the infinitive…eh, I give up. ["'Chris and me' would have been correct." -- Sars]) Cha-Cha-Cha shows up at the museum, and then we see the Teeth arrive. The two teams talk about parking their RVs overnight, blah blah blah. Both Boston and Taraweasel are having little self-pep-talks as they pull up. Alex and Wil go up and talk to the guy at the gate, who confirms that they all can go in at 7:00. At the appointed hour, a guy blows a horn, and the teams are allowed through the gate. They follow Horn Guy on a run through the museum grounds to a little clearing, where they observe a sort of dance/ceremony/show. Chris just thinks the dancers are cool because they have tattoos. No, really. In order to receive your clue, it turns out you have to rub noses with one of the dancers, which they do. I'd venture to say that's Chris's first time rubbing noses with a great big guy like that. Probably not the case for Oswald or Paige, the other two that we see doing it. Anyway, the clue sends them to The Lost World, which is part of a network of caves, as Phil explains. Everybody's off.

There's some confusion and some turning around as everybody tries to get going in the right direction on the highway. The Teeth congratulate themselves, of course, and Blake says self-righteously, "Those guys will do anything they can to get ahead of us." As opposed to Blake, who never pulls anything to get ahead of anyone. Doesn't that lack of self-awareness make his head hurt?

But wait…not everybody has taken to the highway. Wil and Tara are looking at the Fast Forward. You'll recall that they're the only ones who are eligible to take it, which makes the FF even more appealing because they can do it without any risk that they'll be beaten to it by somebody else. In other words, all other things being equal, if you assume you're going to use your FF at some point and it doesn't matter that much when you use it, there's a good argument for using it after everybody else uses theirs. Phil's Fast Forward Tutorial ensues. He explains that the FF this week sends them to Mount Tarawera, where they'll do a long hike, followed by a downhill scree run. What's a scree run? Well, it's a run down into a dormant volcano. You'll need a near-vertical hill of loose volcanic rock, your running shoes, and your girliest scream. I like the idea of Wil and Tara doing this FF, and am disappointed only by the word "dormant." They decide it is indeed most advantageous to go for it, so they ask for directions to the mountain.

Amazing Race

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