Amazing Race
It's Hammer Time

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Goodbye, honeys

Previously on It Takes Sixty Votes To End A Philibuster, But One Judge Can Invalidate A Wil: Kangaroos weren't especially relevant to the race, but they did an efficient job of conveying the key concept of Hey, Dummy, You Are In Australia! The outback was a challenge, but a fabulous fleet of SUVs, a harem of friendly truck drivers, and a few chartered puddle-jumpers were very helpful. The Teeth clenched when Boston baked their beans, but then Paige said, "Form of -- a red boat!" and Blake said, "Shape of -- a river!" and they used the Fast Forward to zip into the lead. Wil overcame his fear of heights and Danny overcame his fear of being strangled by Oswald, and everyone bungee-jumped successfully. In New Zealand, there were sheep. And more sheep. And they were not just regular sheep -- they were crafty and speedy and quite frankly not very obedient. Wil yelled at them, but Tara told them not to take it personally. Chris endeared himself to silly women all over America, and Oswald proved that even more than Spanish, charm is the universal language. Four teams remain. Who will be eliminated...tonight!?

Credits. As Pete Seeger once said, don't let your neighbor look at you peculiarly if you sing too loud: "Here's! A! Plane! Big words about! The! Game! That's Blake and Paige! (Just! Friends!) Norm, Hope, and Cha-Cha's Benz! Ta-ra, Wil! Hang glider, Deidre, Hil! One map, no necks! The Revs...Peg, Claire...Team Thunk...Peach hair! Xe-rox...Boats! Sun! Street! The beach in blinding heat! Big logo! [BOMP.]"

Commercials. Teach your child to have hope. To strive for success. To never lose faith. To dare to dream. To buy the big television.

Invernary Sheep Station, New Zealand. We've got sheep. Oh, boy, have we got sheep. We've got loads and miles and teeming hills of them. Need a wool sweater? Need a wool hat? Wool blazer? Steel wool? Eager to shop at Woolworth's? You've come to the right place. (I cannot confirm or deny that I had a two-minute mental fog at this early point in the recap and originally wrote what I have to say was a pretty damn good line which unfortunately rested on the premise that you get cotton from sheep. I have over $100,000 sunk into my education. Whee!) Phil says that four teams arrived here at the end of the last leg, but apparently Eating, Sleeping, and Mingling were strictly forbidden, because Phil (quite shockingly) does not mention these usually ubiquitous activities at all. He moves ahead directly to how the Final Four have no idea what's in store as they search desperately for the elusive yellow-and-red flags. Out in a field in his devil-may-care black-and-gray Eddie-Bauer-style ensemble, he explains that this is the last elimination leg. Phurthermore, Phil phills us in on the phact that Danny and Oswald are leaving an hour after the third-place team. What will happen? Let's phind out! (This is where Gustave is all, "Kan I kollect damages for kopyright infringement?")

Sheep run away from the camera. Shermy the Sheep: "Leave us alone! We are gentle animals, not versed in your advanced technology and extravagant production values!"

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Amazing Race

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