Amazing Race
It's Hammer Time

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Goodbye, honeys

Taraweasel arrives at the ferry terminal. Up at the ticket booth, Chris and Alex are already getting themselves lined up, and they're told that they'll be on the 11:30 ferry. Tara and Wil pull up, and Alex jumps out of the Boston Camper and jumps in the street in front of them, daring them to run him over. Wow, he sure does give me the tenth-grade-boy flashbacks. "Who's that up front?" Wil asks Alex once the horseplay comes to a merciful conclusion. "That's Blake," Alex says with pure hatred. Cut to Blake, looking out the window of the Teeth Camper.

Oswald gets off the phone with the ferry people, and they get on the road. They manage to almost crash their camper, too. The people responsible for insuring this enterprise take six aspirin and a swig of vodka.

Alex and Tara are giggling as they inquire about how to be the first ones off the ferry. The guy basically tells them that they can't, but it's very, very hard to make out what he says. Cut to Wil, glaring at his wife and her boyfriend, as he voices over that her head isn't really in the game. We see Alex pick her up and swing her around, blah blah blah, horsing around with your beloved, blah blah blah, yuck. "She still jumps on these guys," Wil complains. I'll say. Though not as much as I would jump on them if I were stuck with you all day, Weasel. What makes no sense about Wil's complaint here is that Alex and Tara's Smoochified Adventure goes back as far as South Africa, but she's managed to race pretty well anyway, which suggests to me that this is emphatically not about that. Whatever else I think is annoying about Tara, she doesn't seem to have lost her will to compete as a result of being infatuated with The Neckless Wonder. Wil's pissed at her for having a boyfriend, not for losing her competitive edge.

There's a fair amount of screwing around between Taraweasel and Boston as the gate opens to drive onto the ferry. The Teeth go first, and Wil points out to Boston that it could potentially give the Teeth a big advantage. Blake happily says that Wil is "freakin' out because he doesn't have the orange thing," which refers to a tag the ferry guy gave to the Teeth that gives them a priority spot on the boat. "Well, he can freak out," Paige says with an incongruous grin. Taraweasel and Boston talk to the guy working the dock about the fact that apparently, what the Teeth have scored for themselves is a frequent traveler tag. They're not frequent travelers, of course, but they've scored the tag one way or another. "What do they get, just extra food or something like that?" Alex asks, and Wil points out that they'll actually get on and off the boat first. In their camper, Blake tells Paige what a great job she did with the orange tag. Also, he calls her "Paiger." Again. Ugh. The Teeth give the dock guy the big thumbs-up as they drive onto the ferry. "We just showed 'em that being nice to people works better than their yelling at people," Blake crows. Sigh. The other teams weren't really yelling at people, particularly, and if anybody was "nice," it was Paige, and not him. Of course, Blake's delusions of grandeur and his limitless capacity for self-congratulation are far too advanced for me to argue with at this point.

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Amazing Race

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