Both teams hunt for the park. Kelly is "hoping for first." Both teams are tense and nervous in their cabs.
Someone's cab pulls up at the park. The door opens. The Chipsters emerge. They get on bikes. And if you liked the non-copyright-infringing- quasi-Gladiator music at the end of Season One, you certainly will have nothing good to say about the crap-ass theme that plays here, which sounds sort of like the backdrop for a commercial for weight-loss pills. You can almost hear the voice saying, "I lost 51 pounds in just nine weeks, and now I can pick up my grandchildren again!" The boys get on their bikes.
Phil waits at the mat. The very, very bad music plays. The rest of the teams are seen doing their phony-looking clapping-and-cheering thing. The Chipsters approach the mat.
Kelly and Jon emerge from their cab and hop on their bikes.
Here come the Chipsters, up to the mat. They run. Other people cheer. Cheering. Clapping. Clapping. Cheering. Millie and Chuck, making out in the background. Just kidding. Chip and Reichen run up and land on the mat. So they won.
You know, a lot of people -- and I do mean a lot of people -- asked me on Thursday night who I was rooting for, and I said the same thing to everyone: "I don't care." And it's certainly more true than it ever has been in the past. These teams are all fine with me, and certainly I won't be waking up screaming like I did when I knew Flo had won. But as soon as the Chipsters landed on the mat, I was acutely aware that I was rooting for Jon and Kelly. I just was never really able to connect to most of the teams this season, or to feel like I really got them or got their personalities. Chip and Reichen were sort of the epitome of that. I don't object to them, and I don't dislike them, but...I mean, they won. More boys with big arms and big pecs, winning. Meh. Don't get me wrong -- it was still a great show to watch, and I still think it's some of the best entertainment on television. But...I mean...bleh.
Anyway, once Phil has delivered the good news about the big toy check they'll be getting shortly, Chip is seen saying, "The hardest part about this race was to open up to the other people on it." With this, the Amazing Editors bring you one last Hey, We Didn't Say Anything, We're Just Cuttin' Tape Here moment by cutting directly to Millie. Heeeeee hee hee. Chip goes into his speech about how he and Reichen are Americans (?), and they're just like everyone else, and they happen to be gay...and really, it's very weird, because the only people on the race who have really seemed preoccupied with this issue are the people currently talking about it. ["AND WHO ARE NOT EVEN GAY HELLO." -- Wing Chun] I mean, yes, there was Failure-To-Applaud-Gate, and there was some teasing between Chip and Jon, but did anyone not know that gay guys could compete on this show? Do you remember a little ass-kicking team named Guido, made up of guys who were gay and were fifty? I don't know. I mean, I get what Chip is saying, but it really doesn't fit for this particular show, which has been bringing the high-achieving gay men all along.