Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 559 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Phoenix Is the New New York

Team Who is arriving at the cultural park and noting that the operating hours are 6:00 AM to 6:00 PM, so they're out of luck here. The Chipsters are right behind them.

2:38 AM. Jon and Kelly. She happily notes the operating hours as she reads the clue, and Jon grins and adds, "Doesn't that stink for the boys? Let's go." They take off. Kelly explains in an interview that she can't believe they've made it so far. "Not only do I think that we don't deserve to be here because we're so stupid, but I also think that it's so surreal that there's an actual million-dollar pot at the end." Jon adds, "Our strictest competition is going to be ourselves." "Strictest"? Whapping yourselves on the knuckles with rulers, are you? It's bad enough when teams don't have the English-Korean dictionaries they need, but it's sad when they could use just a regular English-English dictionary as well.

As Jon explains, the ceremony at Tjapukai isn't available until morning, so the teams wind up in a big operating-hours bunch, spending what looks to be a fairly uncomfortably rainy interlude waiting at the gate. Finally, morning comes, as exemplified by the dramatic Yellowish Clouds of Dawn. The obligatory didgeridoo plays as the teams are let in through the fence at just 6:00 AM. They dash together along a path, and wind up sitting through the same ceremony. The ceremony requires a fire, so one of the ceremonial guys sets about making one with friction. That guy may be good at his current job, but I have to say that he would kick everybody's ass on Survivor. Kelly comments that she found it enjoyable to stop for a minute during the madness of the race and enjoy the ceremony itself. It's certainly a fairly dramatic ceremony, as a guy takes a bit of fire onto the end of a stick and shoots it arrow-like through the air across a stretch of water (the place looks to me like a golf course, as much as anything), at which point it lands in a tree. The tree then goes up in what looks to be a pyrotechnically-assisted ball of fire. With this part of the ceremony accomplished and the gimmick being that the fire signals the other guys to bring the clue, another guy now shows up with a container full of envelopes, which the teams remove all at the same time.

The next clue tells all of the teams to drive to the general aviation terminal at the Cairns airport, where they'll grab another clue. Everyone bails out of the ceremonial grounds, with Team Who holding a slight lead over Jon and Kelly, and the Chipsters bringing up the rear. "Everyone's on each other's ass," Jeff comments. (Hey, he was at TARcon!) Jon voices over that the Chipsters were trying to get position on him, which won't work because he's from Jersey (oooooh, I'm so scared). Chip then responds in a voice-over that Jon irritates him slightly, mostly by always making jokes when Chip is trying to be serious. Chip claims that this just makes him more determined to "get an edge" by outmaneuvering Jon. In the introduction to one of this week's little subplots, Reichen voices over that he's always "completely petrified" in the back seat when Chip drives the car. In this case, he explains that it was raining, and Chip decided to pass Jon and Kelly. "Be careful on this roundabout," Reichen advises Chip. Just then, as Chip takes a soft turn to the right, he hydroplanes and skids off the road, landing in a ditch facing the wrong way. Kelly gasps from in her car, but when it's pretty clear that all they did was drive off the road, she says to Jon, "Keep going; they're okay." Jon can't help laughing. "I fuckin' knew that was gonna happen," he says, as Kelly advises him to slow down and avoid suffering the same fate. The Chipsters make their way back onto the road, at which point Kelly is impressed to note that they're right back behind them again. "We can't do that again," Reichen says with great gravity from the back seat. "Nope," Chip clips. Yeah. Glad they agreed on that one. They really do think alike. No more wrecking the car!

Amazing Race

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