Amazing Race
It's Like Adam Building His First House!

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Phoenix Is the New New York

In the Kelly and Jon car on the way to the bay, they're feeling the pressure and desperately trying to make up time. Meanwhile, at the beach, Chip is taking little tiny taps at the rock with his hammer and chisel. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Very rhythmic and hypnotizing. Hey, maybe it is hypnosis. I'm afraid I will wake up from this scene with a strange urge to cluck like a chicken whenever I hear the word "nutbunches." "We're looking for a time constraint for Chip and Reichen," Jon says in the Jon and Kelly car. "Hopefully they can get delayed a little bit." Another brilliant edit brings us directly back to Chip and the fact that he keeps knocking the chisel out of his hand with the hammer. He despairs at "all this time wasted," as Jon on the road vows that if they get another chance, he and Kelly won't make any more mistakes. Reichen voices over -- as we watch Chip desperately hammer at the rock -- that when Chip gets frustrated, Reichen has the urge to step in and take over, but he's learned that Chip is "extremely motivated" (meaning "borderline psychotic"), and will eventually do what needs to be done. Chip swears some more and hammers some more, and finally, the rock gives up the ghost and splits in half. The clue they pull out tells them to get to Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, where they'll follow a path across a lava field to find their next clue. "You did so awesome, okay?" Reichen says as Chip joins him in the car. They leave. "This is it; now it's just about not making any mistakes," Reichen says, rather ridiculously assuming, I guess, that Kelly and Jon can't possibly catch up.

Speaking of Kelly and Jon, here they come to the Roadblock clue. Kelly declines this one, and Jon agrees to do it, and they share a little smooch. As he prepares to go, he explains that he doesn't want to get his underwear wet, so he's thinking that he'll just do the whole thing naked. "If you want to go naked, go naked. I dare you," she says. Hee. Jon takes everything off and goes naked. "That's a full moon, baby!" Kelly calls as he runs down to the water. "Be very careful," she says. "Don't damage the merchandise!" Well, it is hers, after all, for good or for ill. Even if you're not happy with your new sofa, you still try not to spill stuff on it. Jon swims. Once he retrieves the rock and returns to the beach, Kelly chuckles, "Do you want to put your panties back on?" He does not. He puts hammer to chisel in very close proximity to the friendly family, as David would say. And as her naked boyfriend hammers away, Kelly comments, "It's like Adam building his first house," which is one of the only episode title quotes this season that has been genuinely witty.

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Amazing Race

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