From the non-pit-stop in Red Square, teams head to Germany, where they take a ride in a fast car and complete an absolutely pitifully stupid Travelocity-based Roadblock that insults everyone's dignity by requiring them to carry around Travelocity gnomes for the remainder of the leg. STUPID. From there, it's off to a Detour involving dancing and breaking bottles, which might be more entertaining if the people who chose the dancing were actually required to do the dancing correctly before moving on, which they totally are not. STUPID. As a result of getting lost while driving around Germany, Desiree and Wanda are in the back of the pack by the time they get to the Roadblock, where Desiree rather surprisingly chokes. Keeping her mother calm, indeed. They come close to catching up to a flagging Danielle and Dani, but it is not to be, and the lovable mother and daughter are out. BJ and Tyler crank up the mugging to an even higher level, Eric and Jeremy are cruising to what frankly looks like assured victory at this point, Fran and Barry are still annoying and irritatingly lucky at every turn, and all in all, what began as a promising season is starting to drag.
Previously on To Russia, With Phil: A non-zippy zip line led to a trip from Brazil to Moscow, where a giant pool full of damp Russians awaited. Wanda freaked out in the water, but she ultimately prevailed. The Detour forced teams to choose between the Bermuda Triangle Trolley Depot and the Where's Waldo Russian Doll Hunt. Eric and Jeremy got lucky (typical for them, hotcha!) and flew out of the doll Detour ahead of everyone. They were the first to follow the clue to Red Square, but when they got there, they learned that Phil was an a non-pit-stop Fake-It Mat. Lake and Michelle were hot on their heels, BJ and Tyler were within striking-with-a-rubber-chicken distance, and the MoJo/Nerd alliance and the Dani/Danielle and Wanda/Desiree Sisterhoods Of Traveling With Pants were starting to wash big trolley cars. Ultimately, the leg was to be continued, but now, it's definitely time for someone to be Philiminated. Can we make it three for three annoying teams?
Credits. I wonder if it bothers Lake that he's on right after that big elephant. I can't imagine that juxtaposition is accidental. [BOMP.]
Commercials. Dear Jennifer Tilly: You were kind of hot and funny in Bound. P.S. That was a long time ago.
We return to Moscow (helpfully captioned "Moscow, Russia" to distinguish it from "Moscow, Wisconsin," where they make fur-lined cheese-wedge hats), and everyone looks angry. This is pretty much Reagan's Moscow. We have hopped back a minute or two, as it turns out, because Eric and Jeremy are still running across Red Square, looking for the cathedral behind which they are to hunt for Phil. Lake and Michelle are doing the same, having unexpectedly surged in the previous leg. Lake is carrying both packs, while Michelle goes with the Flo. Lake yells "Ruuuun!" and "Woo!", but the team that runs up to the mat first is made up of your choads and mine: Eric and Jeremy. "Big Philly Style," et cetera. But the leg isn't over! Here's your clue! Go hang out for a while and meet some of Moscow's lovely ladies! They rip open the clue and find that it instructs them to fly to Frankfurt, Germany, which Phil explains is "more than 1,000 miles." They will then take a train another 100 miles to Stuttgart. There, they'll find what Phil tells us is the "flagship Mercedez-Benz factory," where there will be a clue box. "Okay," Eric says, "we've got to go to Frankfurt." "How do we get there?" Jeremy asks. "Airport," Eric replies. Jeremy quickly stashes his skateboard, pogo stick, and water wings.