Amazing Race
It's Not Over Until The Phil Sings

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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I Wonder As I Wanda

So it's your basic needle-in-a-haystack "Roadblock," not as hard as some, based around that obnoxious gnome. The other thing that doesn't make any sense, as if there needed to be another thing, is that the clue for it says, "Who wants to reap a reward?" Which, as we will find out, has absolutely nothing to do with describing the task, and which also has absolutely nothing to do with who does the "Roadblock," and which does not, in most cases, even relate to a task that results in either person on the team "reaping a reward." Jeremy finds a gnome pretty quickly, and yodeling music (?) starts up as he and Eric run off. Selling your show's soul is so ugly. Anyway, they get a clue that says to take their gnome to Bavaria Film.

Lake and Michelle now have one of the truly great encounters with local color in the history of…ever, as they encounter a fellow on the way to Ellsbach and ask him whether he can help them find it. He agrees to ride along, saying that he's too drunk to drive. Thus do Lake and Michelle adopt the show's first Wasted Fern. He's apparently not too drunk to help them find the field, fortunately, and they even rib him a little bit about being drunk in the car.

At just about the same time, BJ and Tyler and Lake and Michelle arrive at the "Roadblock." You'll never guess whether the hippies are all yelling and shit. Well, maybe you will. BJ and Lake take it. Now why is Lake taking this one? For crying out loud, what Roadblocks is Michelle thinking she's going to do? There probably won't be anything involving making a small child rinse and spit, so I think she's going to need to go a little farther outside her comfort zone. As BJ looks for the gnome, Tyler dances around "comically." Michelle tells Lake, quite correctly, to ignore Tyler, and even more correctly not to follow BJ, because obviously, then he'll just be looking in already-checked holes. "I'm 'on jus' systematically go!" Lake says. I could spend a lot of time this season transcribing Lake phonetically. I probably shouldn't try. Lake is the first of the two guys to find a gnome, which he brings back to Michelle. They get the Bavaria Film clue. And then, just as BJ yells, "What does it look like?", he pulls up a cone and finds a gnome, which he pulls out as he yells, "Like this!" Heh. That was slightly funny. I strongly suspect that BJ is much, much closer to actually being both funny and tolerable than Tyler is. But really, they both bug. I can't remember if I've ever explained before my theory of the difference between people who suck and people who bug, but you can probably get it just from that much explanation. I don't truly dislike people who bug (Meredith and Gretchen, the Godlewskis, Kelly of "Jon and"), but only people who suck (Kelly of "Ron and," the Weavers, Tara and Wil, Aaron and Arianne, Heather and Eve). BJ and Tyler just bug, but they bug maybe more than any team ever has. (FYI: The greatest challenge to this theory is whether Flo sucks or just bugs to a degree that is epic in its sweep. I have never decided.)

Anyway, BJ and Tyler and Lake and Michelle take off, but Lake explains that before they can go, they're taking Wasted Fern home. No, seriously. They're taking him to his house. It's one of the most adorable things I've ever seen on this show, racer-local-interaction-wise, and I'll be damned if it didn't make me like Lake and Michelle a little bit. This is all very weird. In BJ and Tyler's car, they discuss the fact that there was this Fern with Lake and Michelle. "Where did they get that German guy? Did they rent him?" Tyler wonders. These…are the jokes, folks. Sadly enough. Hey, can you blame him? Renting is pretty kee-razy! The very idea of hiring someone to do something for you just seems so out-there that most people must not have been used to it.

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Amazing Race

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