Amazing Race
I've Become The Archie Bunker Of The Home

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I Want To Ride My Bicycle

Jen's first attempt at ditch-vaulting dumps her into the mud so spectacularly, complete with her feet madly waggling in the air, scrambling for purchase before she flops full-on into the muck, that I officially clear her record up to this point. She has paid. She owes nothing more on the donkey. Clean slate!

Hey, Nick and Don are done with the bikes and get their clue for the bus. Azaria and Hendekea, Kynt and Vyxsin, TK and Rachel, and Nick and Don wind up on the same bus, which is interesting, because those teams have had really different fortunes in this episode, so it's interesting that they were close enough for it to come to this.

Loser teams find the bridge. All three, interestingly, choose the biking, although it takes Ron and Christina a while to get there. They start out thinking they'll do the hoisting, but as they watch the demo, he almost immediately starts complaining that he can't follow what they're doing. She assures him she understands it, and he tells her it's up to her in a way that promises that if anything goes wrong, he will blame her forever.

Shana gets over the ditch without getting dirty. I really shouldn't have underestimated the filth-surviving fortitude of a girl who's touched Ryan Seacrest on purpose, but she's been pretty impressive this episode. Nate feels the need to taunt Jen that Shana made it. "Nate, do not do that right now [in bed]!" she demands.

Ron and Christina. He declares that trying to do the hoisting is a waste of time. She takes a deep breath and says they can do the bikes, then, and he is equally pissy about that, starting in with his insistence that they have no idea where to go for that, which is undoubtedly also her fault. Gently, she says, "Let's just commit; let's go and ride the bikes." He follows her, puffing out his breath all put-upon.

As Ron and Christina walk to the bikes, now he's complaining about the bikes. "It's basically going to be a lot of...oceans of bicycles," he whines. "I am confident we'll find the right ones," she says, barely keeping it together because she has no choice.

Shana dumps herself in the mud on the way back, so maybe she can consider that her facial. "You're such a good sport," Jennifer laughs, and I have this weird episode of...liking them? Like, not liking them, but...we'll see. The jury is out. Bitchy, but out.

Finally, Jen is told that her attempt is good enough, even though one foot was pretty much in the water the whole time, as far as I could see. I think they feel sorry for her. Happily, she throws herself into the mud again on her way back, so now I owe her one asshole move! She gets a free one! Somehow, I doubt this credit will remain on her account for very long. When she's back, Nate talks about how proud he is of her. I am not convinced.

Jason continues to pedal Lorena in the little bike thing. She tells him she's her hero, but she manages to whine it, and seriously, the fact that she says praising things in that particular voice? Not a good thing at all. Shana and Jennifer and Jen and Nate are also biking. Jen provides the cars driving next to her with access to a giant loogie. "That frickin' little bitch did it," Jen whines, presumably referring to Shana. And just like that, she's even again. That free pass really burned a hole in her pocket, didn't it? And now, we get our first awesome shot through a big bra hanging on somebody's clothesline as the teams cycle past. Somewhere, somebody in the Netherlands is like, "Oh my God...that's what all the cameras focused on my clothesline were about." Lorena and Jason arrive at the drop-off point, and they run over to Phil. Two little Dutch children welcome them to the mat. Only the boy gets to talk. They are welcomed as team number one, and they both interview about how they think this will be great for their relationship and so forth. Phil explains that their prize for coming in first is a three-wheeled, all-terrain sport bike. They look pleased, but she looks mostly amused, because I'm not sure she's an all-terrain-bike kind of girl, unless somebody else is pedaling.

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Amazing Race




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