Amazing Race
I've Become The Archie Bunker Of The Home

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I Want To Ride My Bicycle

Donald hits a curb, and they get a flat tire. So that's one used-up and deflated thing we'll be seeing out of Grandpa during this episode. I wonder if there will be any others.

2:46 AM. Ronald and Christina. As they're about to get in the car, she realizes she doesn't have the fanny pack, so she goes back to get it. He kind of razzes her, but hey -- better now than at the airport, right? She's sort of doing the right thing, which is making sure she has everything before she leaves. One would almost think that perhaps, he's a little bit hard on her. I wonder if they're going anywhere with that.

2:47 AM. Kate and Pat. Here's Kate: "We are religious people, but we have no illusions that God cares whether or not we win The Amazing Race." Swooooooon. Hey, they like the same God I like! Our God is a busy God. I love the way Pat goes, "No?" all sarcastically, and then she opens her mouth and laughs, all, "Hotcha!" It's like they find the very idea that you'd ask God to hand you a reality-show victory completely ridiculous and (I'm guessing) sort of sacrilegious. I have a funny feeling that they've had a chance to refine their vision of faith beyond "a rainbow is a symbol of God's promise." They follow Ron and Christina, and Ron pronounces himself "in control of leading." I think he meant to say "in control of being in charge of taking over leading." In any event: settle down, Bossypants.

Nicolas and Donald are working on replacing their tire when Shana and Jennifer go by. Nicolas opines that these particular women would likely not be helpful with the tire. As she and Jennifer blow by, Shana says that of course, if someone looked injured, they'd stop. And...use their bodies to flirt the person to health? Hey, they're compassionate! THEY'RE NOT ROB AND AMBER, you know! Finally, Nicolas and Donald get their tire fixed and get on their way.

2:59 AM. Marianna and Julia. Aaaand you get nothing from them right now. Their luxuriant hair will have to be enough.

3:00 AM. Nate and Jen. Nate interviews that Jen forces him to be on his "A-game" at all times. "It's on like Donkey Kong from here," Jen says in the car, and I add: "In bed." Which is a little unsettling, with the suggestion of ladders and rolling barrels.

It appears that Marianna and Julia have taken the slower way toward the airport, while Nate and Jen have the faster way. Speaking of the airport, let's go there now, where Azaria and Hendekea are arriving, with Kynt and Vyxsin just behind. For some reason, we see a little interview in which Hendekea insists that Kynt and Vyxsin are "serious competitors." I don't know if we were supposed to not know that or not believe it or what, but...there you go. Hendekea also says that Kynt has "some serious adrenaline." Well, you know what they say about Goths -- they're full of pep! These two teams head to the Aer Lingus counter, which will open at 6:00 AM. TK and Rachel arrive next, then Lorena and Jason.

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Amazing Race

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