Amazing Race
I've Become The Archie Bunker Of The Home

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I Want To Ride My Bicycle

At the Dublin airport, the first flight to Amsterdam is getting ready to go. Nicolas and Donald and Ron and Christina are still waiting for standby news. As it turns out, there are...only seats for one team, and Nick and Don get them. I like to think of that as karmic payback for that last sequence. And apparently, they weren't so rude that they actually hosed themselves out of seats. Ron pronounces that this "sucks." Well, that is what a salesman would say, in order to be polite. So the first flight to Amsterdam brings Kynt and Vyxsin, Azaria and Hendekea, Jason and Lorena, Jen and Nate, Shana and Jennifer, and Donald and Nicolas.

Hey, it's Marianna and Julia, arriving in Dublin at last! Awesomely, Kate gives an interview in which she says that she and Pat were sitting at the gate, thinking the sisters were totally screwed and way behind them, when they saw Marianna and Julia. She says, "We were like, 'Hey, how are you! [Bitchface].'" Hee, I love them. The number of ordained clergy who will (1) put up with the bullshit that being lesbian ordained clergy entails; (2) go on The Amazing Race; and (3) admit that they make mean faces at other people's good fortune is not large. I'm glad they're here. So the way this ends up, Ronald and Christina, Pat and Kate, and Marianna and Julia are on a trailing flight to Amsterdam together, pretty sure that one of them will be the team to go.

Amsterdam, 12:15 PM. Here's that first flight. Azaria and Hendekea run for the train, figuring they can pay when they're on the train. Which you can do some places, but...counting on that, I don't know. If there's no turnstile or anything that forces you to pay in advance, then maybe so. A bunch of the other teams stop to actually buy tickets at a booth, and they all wind up missing the lead train by a very narrow margin. When Azaria and Hendekea get off the train, it's not made clear whether they ever actually bought any tickets, but they're in the lead in any event. The other teams are pretty close behind, but the brother and sister get to the Long Long Name Bridge first and find the clue box. The clue inside is for a Detour, where the choices are Hoist It and Hunt It. Phil explains that in Hoist It, you use "a traditional rope-and-pulley system" to lift five pieces of furniture up to an apartment a few floors up. This task is nearby, so at least there's no traveling. Nevertheless, the words "traditional rope-and-pulley system" would immediately cause me to turn to absolutely anything else, because what the locals have learned over hundreds of years of practice, I would be trying to learn in thirty seconds with a camera on me, and I would undoubtedly wind up hog-tying myself and shipping myself to Moscow by accident. In Hunt It, you walk a few blocks to a parking ramp, where you search thousands of bikes (ugh) for a pair that are marked with a sticker in the same colors you have. So that part is essentially Huffy-in-a-haystack. Then you ride the bikes five miles to a guy with a clue. Azaria and Hendekea pick the bikes, with him interviewing that he didn't really want to get into the knot-tying and the heavy furniture and whatnot.

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Amazing Race

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