Amazing Race
I've Been Wanting A Face Lift For A Long Time

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Head wounds and foot races

We rather joyously return to Soweto, which Phil explains has rather the troubled history, but is now "a vibrant city." And a pit stop. We watch footage of the teams arriving, like, ten minutes ago, and Phil wonders whether Ray and Deana can continue to achieve. If I really did believe I put a hex on the Pope, by the way, and I'm awfully sorry about the Pope, if you are a person who likes the Pope, but...anyway, whatever hex I may have put on him, I would love to modify for use against loser boyfriends generally.

10:41 PM. Ray and Deana. Boo! Their clue tells them to go and feed lions at the Rhino and Lion Nature Reserve. Phil explains that when they get there, they'll sign up for one of two shuttles and ride it into the reserve, where they'll feed some meat to the hungry animals. Two shuttles? Pfft. After the lions are fed, they'll get another clue. Ray and Deana leave, and Ray talks about how they intend to stay in first place, and how Deana is bad at handling stress. I wonder if that could possibly be related to how unbelievably badly he treats her. Crazier theories have been floated. He then says, "She needs to step up a little bit more and assert her talents where I need them." Man, he is the best owner ever! He's going to have her in top condition once it's time to show her. They drive through the dark, and Deana isn't doing so well with the stick shift. Maybe she should have asserted her talents where he needed them in his ear, and really, those talents for that purpose could have consisted of a rolling pin.

12:39 AM. Ron and Kelly. Ron claims that of all the teams, they are in the best physical shape, and he smells blood in the water as some of the other teams seem to be "breaking down and having a little bit of trouble." Kelly says they're hoping they can "step it up a notch and maybe push the other teams out." Kelly claims in the car that they saw the sign for the Rhino and Lion thing yesterday, so they're just backtracking. Not that that's a metaphor for anything.

Ray and Deana arrive at the reserve, and they learn that the first shuttle doesn't leave until 8:00 AM, so that's going to do it for their lead they were determined to keep. Go figure. Ron and Kelly look out the window and see what is apparently lightning, which Ron immediately compares to "bombing downtown Baghdad." They're not really going to force me to make "bombing downtown Baghdad" jokes, are they? That's not even nice. I abstain. Anyway, they sign up second on the 8:00 AM shuttle.

1:03 AM. Brian and Greg. Brian: "Make your way home and give Mom a big hug, then eat all of her chicken enchiladas until you enter a food coma." Oh, man. A girl could pass out, that's so cute. I bet their mother adores them. They take off, as Brian laments that he's not exactly the best driver of all time.

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Amazing Race

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