Amazing Race
I've Been Wanting A Face Lift For A Long Time

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Head wounds and foot races

At the crash site, someone says the doctor is on the way, and Lynn and Alex take off. You'll be shocked to hear that in the car, Lynn's favorite topic of conversation is that Rob and Amber didn't stop their car, so that they could stand around and do absolutely nothing, the way Lynn and Alex apparently did. "They're just awful pigs," he says, "I mean, literally." And by "literally," he of course means, "not literally, but still."

Ray and Deana pull a rolling stop and yell out the window, "You guys okay?" And then they move on. In their car, Gretchen and Meredith talk about her desire that he not break the car, and his opposing desire that they not lose. He asks her if she wants to go home that night. "I don't want to go home tonight," she says. "But I don't want to have my bladder up in my chest cavity, either." Which was pretty damn funny, if you ask me. "My bladder up in my chest cavity"? That's a damn fine line, lady. You acquitted yourself well. It's not a cliché, and "chest cavity" is an inherently funny body part. I know you said "bladder" because you're thinking about the fact that you need to pee, but still. By the time they roll by the crash site, there are a bunch of vehicles and even more people standing around. Uchenna and Joyce are just behind them, and both teams slow down -- at least for looky-loo purposes -- and the boys wave them by. "You guys all right?" Uchenna yells out the window. See, this is where I think driving by was ass, but it wasn't dangerous, you know? It's just...ass.

Brian and Greg note that they have to wait for a backup car before they can go.

Ron and Kelly turn in some of their corn, but they've got some left. Rob and Amber arrive at the box next, and they choose the water and start sucking. Heh. Metaphor! Lynn and Alex take the Food. The first thing Lynn wants to tell Ron and Kelly is that "the boys wrecked." And then: "We stop [true], help them out [not so true], and then Amber and Rob? Drive straight on by!" He just loses so much of the cool they get for stopping when he's more interested in updating Ron and Kelly on Rob and Amber than on the crash, you know? This inspires Kelly, who has this little red-statey moment when she tells Ron that Rob and Amber "do not deserve!" And then she's like, "No quitting," because it's all about moral superiority, and shut up and whatnot.

At the Detour, Rob and Amber suck.

Lynn and Alex and Ron and Kelly both have some trouble with the grinding, as Rob and Amber work on filling up their last few eggs. Ron and Kelly finish first and get going. Phil explains that they're driving themselves to a dried-out lake, and when they get there, they'll spend the night out in the desert. Ron and Kelly leave. Rob and Amber finish up the last egg, bury them, and get their clue. They head out to the pit stop in second place. Lynn and Alex are still working.

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Amazing Race

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