Amazing Race
I've Been Wanting A Face Lift For A Long Time

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
Head wounds and foot races

Ray and Deana approach, then Meredith and Gretchen and Uchenna and Joyce. All take Food. Ray is already yelling at Deana for being too slow, probably to the surprise of no one.

Crash site. Replacement vehicle. Once they get going, Brian says a prayer, beginning with a request to God to be with their camera guy. Aw. And then they pray for guidance. (God: "Well, okay.")

Up ahead, Lynn and Alex are trying to grind the corn, and Lynn is like, "You suck!" Because he's nice that way. Alex points out that he doesn't suck; he's right about how to do it, so it's Lynn who sucks. Or something. "This is how you do it," Alex says. "Yeah, if you have 20,000 years!" Lynn snaps. Oh, come on, now, boys, don't fight. Your nice relationship is one of the few things you have going for you, as far as I'm concerned.

And then Deana hits herself in the face with the pounding stick, which I swear to God isn't funny.

All the pounding teams continue pounding, and Uchenna has actually taken over entirely for his team for a moment. Ray and Deana's corn is rejected. Meredith and Gretchen's is taken.

Ron and Kelly make the pit stop, followed fairly closely by Rob and Amber. Ron and Kelly are the first to the pit stop, and we see Amber drop some papers before they get to the mat, but I don't think that's why. Anyway, Ron and Kelly are team number one.

Rob and Amber are team number two. Phil asks them if they saw a wreck at all. "Yeah," Rob says. "We looked like the brothers and Alex and Lynn." And of course, he wouldn't know who crashed and who stopped, necessarily, even if there was one vehicle pulled over and one rolled. Phil asks if they stopped. "No," Amber chuckles with what I think is embarrassment. "This is a race, Phil," Rob says, a little -- as I read it -- sheepishly. "I see," Phil says. "So," he goes on, chuckling a little, "you left them on the side of the road?" See, I don't think Phil even thinks it's that bad. He just thinks it's brazenly ass. Phil and I so often agree.

Lynn is jumping up and down with the pounding stick, hitting the corn as hard as possible. "Now I'm in the numb stage, so it doesn't even hurt!" he chirps. Hee. That was fucking awesome. I don't love him, but that was pretty cool. Nearby, Ray seethes. As usual. Uchenna and Joyce keep pounding. Meredith and Gretchen keep pounding. Some of Meredith and Gretchen's is rejected.

Brothers approaching the Detour. "Let's hope this Detour is super-duper physically tough," they say. "We need somebody to slow down." Up at the pounding site, everyone is slowing down, pretty much. Ray and Deana are told that their corn is rejected. Rejected! Uchenna and Joyce, however, are done, much to Ray and Deana's horror. Lynn and Alex are also done, and they take off for the pit stop. Ray bonks Deana in the head with the pole again, and again he doesn't apologize, and here, she draws the line, which I loved. She just stops. "You can do it yourself," she says. Which, in this case, I totally support, because that's how you stop that shit. I mean, really, she needs to dump his ass, but barring that, this is the next best option. He orders her to keep up, but she doesn't. Ha. Ha. Ha.

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Amazing Race




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