And speaking of churn, here's the team that went from first to last, thanks to blowing it at the airport and on the sledding hill. Connor and Jonathan slowly march up to the mat, humming "Pomp and Circumstance" in harmony. Oh for God's sake, here. Now shut up already. They are welcomed and Philiminated, to their utter lack of surprise. Connor again says, "We graduated today," claiming that they graduated from Princeton and the race in one day. Uh, I think they only graduated from one of those things. They even throw their hats in the air, giving us a nice close-up of Jonathan's sweaty, disarranged mop, and after Phil shakes their hands we watch them walk away while harmonizing their own annoying version of Amazing Grace as rewritten by Michael Scott: "Through many Detours, Road Blocks, and legs, we are the last team to arrive/And Phil will send us home, goodbye." And they even click their heels together in unison. They should have changed the "many" in their song to "several."

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com