Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 65 USERS: A
Have You Driven a Fjord Lately?

The blondes are dismayed to find that they are expected to drive a vehicle with a standard transmission. On The Amazing Race. In Season 23. That's like going on another reality show to make friends. It's 2:43 AM when Ashley literally throws up her hands and lets Ally drive instead. Ally drives out into the middle of the road, parks crossways and blocks the entire right-of-way, and is just glad to not be in the ditch…yet. They're still going to have to back up some, as Tim & Danny show up for this task. They ask the latter team for help, and Danny gets in the truck with Ally to walk her through it before he and Tim start to work on their own. Because the Okies are confident enough in their own abilities with this task that they should be able to make up time well spent demonstrating how much more useful they are than Leo & Jamal.

Speaking of whom, Leo & Jamal mange to get their sled pulled clear without their loose chain just popping off the hitch, and soon have their clue in fifth place. And despite now having their truck in position, Ally & Ashley have no idea what to do with all the chains they've been presented with. The Okies prove my point of the previous paragraph by quickly getting their clue dug out in sixth place, and then the blondes drag their boulder out of the way and get their clue in seventh place. Not that the chains they draped over the rock aren't swinging loosely on the rock like strings of pearls on a flapper. Let me know if these cultural references are getting too bleeding-edge for you.

"That looks terrifying," Kim says just before Nicky swings from the bridge, which is why Nicky is doing it instead of Kim. "You look like a bank robber!" she calls up to her wetsuit-clad partner, which makes me wonder what kind of gimp-suit heist movies Kim is into. After splashing down and getting to the boat, Nicky finally has their clue in last place, but Kim is back to whining. "I don't want to get eliminated, I don't want to stop seeing the world." Okay, then start racing better.

Adam is driving Brandon, hoping they're not lost, while Jason & Amy are somewhere behind them hoping that they are. But the Hairballs soon find the Viking longhouse, and are pretty confident that it's what they're looking for because it looks just like the picture. Plus it's long. They run up the footpath to the building, quite reasonably expecting to be first, and after some shots of the party going on, they crash the thing and jump on the mat in front of Phil. Apparently the whole party is the greeter, so the guy playing the king today welcomes them to Norway. Phil shouts that they're team number one, and have won $5,000 each. Brandon says this will help him finish the house he's been building (which tells me he's building a small, cheap house) and Adam says he could live on five grand for a year. He certainly looks like he could. Rather than standing there chatting with them, though, Phil hands them another clue, saying they're still racing. "Rip it, read it, and keep on racing!" he says. The Hairballs are happier at this news than anyone ever has been in the history of the race, and they head out at a run. They explain in an interview that they were glad to keep racing, because after all that's what they came for. What a couple of weirdoes.

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Amazing Race




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