Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 65 USERS: A
Have You Driven a Fjord Lately?

So without bothering with any of the other teams' departure times (just as I predicted), we rejoin all of the teams at the Lisbon airport, all boarding the same plane for the first time this season. An Amazing Green Line takes them up to Bodo, Norway, which is all alpine and majestic but not at all snowy right now, because it's summer. Teams do the standard backpack-jog through the airport, but once they're outside and waiting for the ferry they settle down to time-killing pursuits like being cold and trying to figure out how to pronounce Svolvaer. Ally interviews about how the sun never set due to their being north of the Arctic Circle, and that they'd never been in a place where that happens. Which explains why she has so much difficulty coming up with the right words to express it. The gangway drops and as teams get ready to board, Adam shows off some fishing line he scrounged from somewhere and wrapped around his fingers because he plans to use it with some safety pins to fish off the back of the ferry. Wow, I've never seen someone who puts as much effort into fishing as I put into avoiding it. They interview about how their friendship dates back to junior high, and how their beards are easy and low-maintenance. "And I mean, who doesn't want a mustache?" Uh, most women Adam meets, probably?

Soon the teams are boarding the ferry, which looks pretty cozy inside. Marie, who has been getting increasingly "my precioussss" with her extra Express Pass, interviews that she isn't going to give it to anyone until the end of the fifth leg. That's the longest the rules allow her to hold onto it, and she wants to maximize her leverage over the other teams for as long as possible. However, she's already ruled out certain teams as candidates, like the Afghanimals (who I agree are jerks, but who are also ticking time bombs) and the blondes ("they might as well be in the Afghanimals' backpacks," Marie says, with which I also agree). It has occurred to her to do the "nice thing" and give it to Nicole & Travis, who came so close to winning it themselves, but when has Marie ever done the "nice thing?" Although she says her reluctance to give it to them is because the ER docs are a more competitive team. But of course so will any team be who is still around at the end of leg five, idiot. And yes, I am referring to the team comprised of Tim & Marie using singular pronouns. How about that?

The ferry gets underway, and it's a fast one; the racers entertain themselves by standing on the deck and leaning into the wind at about a fifteen-degree angle and various other forms of clowning. Three hours later, the ferry docks in Svolvaer. And yes, it's 11:05 PM, but it's still daylight outside. In fact, the sky looks like that of a summer's evening, the hour before the sun goes down and the bugs come out. But it's already as dark as it's going to get. The teams dash off the boat en masse and straight to the clue box at the end of the dock, with Leo unnecessarily and obnoxiously ululating, as ulusual.

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Amazing Race




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