Pam gets back to it and Winnie remarks to us that if there's a team behind them, they're not even here yet, which I think means that it doesn't seem likely that there's a team behind them. Which normally would be the case. Pam gets to where she last left her coconut and... falls off again. "I feel like an idiot!" she says.

Idries & Jamil board their jet-ski and roar across the water. Are they actually going to catch up?

Pam is getting increasingly frustrated at the stilt task. "I'm not going to give up. I'm just really tired," she assures us. Finally she manages to kick-drag the coconut across the finish line and she and Winnie make it to the mat. Phil makes them wait, saying, "Pam & Winnie..."

"..."

"...You are at the back of the pack but you are still in the race and you are team number nine!" They jump up and down in excitement and disbelief that another team actually sucked more than they did today.

Idries & Jamil make it to the Roadblock at last and at this point it doesn't matter which of them is doing it. He gets through it with lots of dissolve edits that indicate this is all academic anyway and more about not giving up than actually winning. When they make it to the mat, they are, unsurprisingly, Philiminated. And now I don't have to learn to tell them apart after all. They interview about having given their best effort and admit to Phil that their biggest fear was the water. "From start to finish, that's what killed us." Not that their start and finish were all that far apart. They go limping off the beach with the palm fronds still wrapped around their limbs. After this, I just hope every patient they have asks them to assist with water births.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.

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