Amazing Race
Loose Lips Sink Ships

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 1 USERS: B+
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The Curse of the Red Pearl

This is French Polynesia," Phil informs us over what I trust are images of French Polynesia, "made up of more than one hundred breathtaking islands [and four ugly ones, I can't help mentally adding], including Bora Bora, known as the Pearl of the Pacific." Phil's coming to us from outside Motu Café on one of its beaches, a spot that coincidentally was both last week's Pit Stop and the start of this second leg. Jessica & John, having won the previous leg, are of course the first to depart at 2:56 AM. They rip open their clue by the light of their LED headlamps and read that they'll need to take a water taxi (I'm starting to think there's no other kind around here) to Motu Toopua Nui, the location of "the spectacular Hilton Bora Bora Nui." I can tell you this Hilton looks a lot different from others I've seen, consisting of not a giant block of rooms, but a maze of thatched-roof huts reaching out on a pier into the water. It's beautiful, all right, but I don't know how you're supposed to find the ice machine.

The racers will have to search the sprawling grounds for a wedding chapel to receive a blessing from a priest out back. Not a Catholic missionary either, but an impressive figure in red-feathered robes and headdress. John reads from the clue that the water taxi doesn't start running until 7:30 AM, which we viewers already knew from seeing the sign at the beginning of Phil's narration just now, but they're a little bummed at the certainty that they'll lose their lead. I'd also be bummed about being out of bed four and a half hours earlier than I needed to be, were it me. John reminds us that they won the two Express Passes during the previous leg, so he's going to enjoy seeing how that plays out. He says the first rule of the alliance that calls for them to give it to Dave & Connor is that the alliance doesn't officially exist. I think that's actually the second rule, but John seems almost hoping that somebody spills the beans so he won't have to hold up his end. "Loose lips sink ships," he says. In this case, they can conveniently let one off the hook, but that doesn't rhyme. They stroll over to the end of the dock with the water taxi sign announcing the beginning of service at 7:30 AM. They figure that all the teams will be here by then. So I take it they don't know about how Max & Katie and Jennifer & Caroline took the four-hour penalty, then.

After the Bora Bora sunrise, which you will be shocked to learn is spectacular, most of the teams are indeed on the pier waiting for the boat together. Dave comes over and heartily congratulates Jessica & John as a pretext for him and Connor to talk about the pact. John reminds us that they were in a five-team alliance consisting of these two teams, plus the twin OB/GYNs Idries & Jamil, best friends Pam & Winnie and the mulletastic Chuck & Wynona. As we saw in the previouslies, the purpose of the alliance was for whoever won the first leg to give the second of the two Express Passes they would win to whoever in that group was next to check in, which was Dave & Connor. John assures them that they're still cool, but warns them to keep it quiet or else "the whole contract becomes null and void." Which he's only saying because he wants all the other teams to suck up to him in hopes of scoring the extra Express Pass. At least he admits it, if only to the interview cameras. Connor interviews that this is a ridiculous argument and John says it's a race, not an honesty competition. He adds that their word is their bond, but they won't give you their word. Um, okay.

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Amazing Race

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