Amazing Race
Loose Lips Sink Ships

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 1 USERS: B+
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The Curse of the Red Pearl

Pam & Winnie are floating on their idling water craft in the middle of the water, realizing that they're lost and that they're going to have to go back. They joke about getting so lost that they'd end up jet-skiing back to California across the South Pacific. Wow, I just realized that Life of Pi could have been so much shorter.

On board the last two water taxis, Max is still reminding Katie that they have to beat the other team. I'm a little surprised to see that both teams are doing "Take a Trunk," but then I guess they've had a noseful of needle/haystack tasks for one island. I'm surprised to hear that Caroline has not only never seen a diving helmet before, she is also entirely unfamiliar with the concept. What kind of "pioneer spirit" is that? Katie interviews about how uncomfortable it was, because her greatest strength is rapidly revealing itself to be complaining. But the blondes talk about how it was kind of like James Bond. Except that the James Bond of Skyfall would have been able to complete this task without a diving helmet.

The derby moms get to the Roadblock clue in fifth place, while Chuck is trying to hurry Wynona up to join him. Beth and Chuck are doing this, because Beth and Mona are both used to being on skates, while Chuck has the long, powerful legs of someone who runs up and down the endless aisles of Wal-Mart for a living. The retail juggernaut may be forcing small businesspeople out of local markets, but it's doing great things for their quads.

On the beach of Motu Tapu, the coconut-racers are spreading out a bit. Anthony is in the lead, but Connor is making him work for it. Jessica's farther back and Joey just keeps falling off. Anthony's the first to make it across the finish line, with Connor only seconds behind. Both of them collect their partners and go running off together in search of the Pit Stop. All they know is that it's somewhere on this island, but this island is smaller than quite a few other Pit Stop locations where racers have been expected to "search the grounds." Jessica finishes next goes haring off in pursuit with John. Meanwhile, the four members of the two lead teams are pounding through the trees like a chase scene from Lost, at least until Dave yells, "I just ruptured my Achilles!" He has to slow to a limp, saying, "I'm out. It's gone," as Bates & Anthony complete their run to the mat, which is positioned on a sandy point in front of Phil and a female greeter in a sarong. Dave eventually joins the others there, though, somehow. Phil waits another minute for Jessica & John to roll up before telling Bates & Anthony (the latter of whom is currently still toothless) that they're team number one, Dave & Connor are team number two and Jessica & John are team number three. Bates & Anthony have won a trip to London. Bates calls Antony Prince William and I can see the resemblance, although Anthony points out, "I gotta put my teeth in first." Whereas without them, he could be just any Brit. Phil notices that Connor looks a little upset. Connor seems to blame himself for pushing his dad, who seems pretty certain that his Achilles tendon is indeed ruptured. Although he seems to be standing there just fine, so maybe it's not as bad as he thinks. At least Connor is still hoping for the best. This of course is mostly relevant to Jessica & John, who were supposed to give the second Express Pass to Dave & Connor, but if Dave's out, they now have more options. In other words, John gets to look forward to receiving more sucking up. The Express Pass is probably the last thing on Dave's mind as Connor helps him walk down the beach, presumably on the way to see a doctor.

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Amazing Race

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