Amazing Race
Low To The Ground, That's My Technique

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: D+ | Grade It Now!
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The Pill Of Victory

Guam International Airport. The BQs go to the Continental counter and look for the fastest flight, and the lady tells them that Northwest has a flight at 3:50 PM. ["Miss Alli, the giant homer, at TARcon: 'Northwest! WOOO!'" -- Joe R] This flight stops in Tokyo, and it would get them into Honolulu at 7:40 AM. And then Kandice, with a little bit of an "I know this sounds stupid" grin, asks whether "for privacy reasons," the ticket agents might refrain from mentioning that they saw "two blondes." "What color is blonde?" the one lady asks, and for a minute, everyone freezes. (What's awesome is that if you think about it, Mirna lives her whole life entirely in this moment.) And then the lady cracks up laughing, and the BQs crack up laughing, and Dustin is like, "Perfect!" Heh. They head to the Northwest area. If my experiences with Northwest are any indication, it's lucky for them that they're not checking any bags. And I hope they don't want anything to eat except a box of vending-machine food. I'm just saying -- a "meal" is not a pack of crackers, an oily "summer sausage," a package of dried-up raisins, and incomprehensible "snack mix" that seems to have Styrofoam packing material in it, Northwest. Although they do edge out my recent experience with American, which managed to delay my flight three hours, an hour and a half of which was due to a broken door on the potty. GOD.

1:29 PM. Charla and Mirna. Mirna explains that all their energy and enthusiasm was "all for a reason." Presumably, a reason other than driving people bazoo, but I take her point. Mirna looks extra-hot-rollered today; I guess she's mustering all her weapons. I will say, I've rarely seen a woman keep her appearance from deteriorating over the course of the race as effectively as Mirna has. Sometimes, she even appears to me like she's wearing false eyelashes, even though I know she isn't. Props to you, lady, for looking just as poofed today as you did on Day One. Charla, meanwhile, has decided to run the last leg in her skirted swimsuit. And pants. That's going to get you fugged something fierce, sweetheart.

Eric and Pink get to the airport and ask about flights to Honolulu. They're told that there are really only two options. There's Northwest, leaving at 3:50 PM, which is the flight the BQs are on -- but it's sold out. There's another Northwest flight, then, that leaves at 4:20 PM. Both the flights will connect in Tokyo to the same flight on to Honolulu with the 7:40 AM arrival. Charla and Mirna get to the airport and get the same information. Mirna wants to know how many people have already bought tickets, and the guy tells her that everybody did. Because this guy looks, talks, and frankly dresses like he just came from a barbecue in Akron, they don't speak to him in silly accents, which is a relief to my ears.

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Amazing Race

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