Amazing Race
Man, They Should Have Used Fake Names

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
Enjoying the glory of Darwin

Tyler: "Apparently, Joseph had canceled everyone's cabs." I understand how you'd reach that conclusion, certainly, but it's not like you know this for sure. "If Joseph had called," Tyler says, "then when Yield season comes along, then Joseph and Monica are going to be the hunted." Of course, whether they canceled the cabs has absolutely no rational relationship to the intelligence of Yielding them for race purposes, so that's just uncut stupid.

In the Ray and Yolanda car, Ray is talking about the pleasure of seeing MoJo in a crocodile pond. Ray thinks that a crocodile might choke on the "plastic Barbie doll" that is Monica. I'm not sure I think that's the best joke he could have come up with, you know? Help me out here, Ray. It's Monica, you know? I think it's more that she would be nothing but an amuse bouche. For her part, Yolanda says that "black people wouldn't be stupid enough to get into a pool of crocodiles." And then she pauses. And then she says, "Or would they, because that's what we're about to do." Heh. Ray thinks that for a million dollars, the rules kind of change.

First to the airport are Monica and Joseph, and they go and ask about the fastest way to Darwin. Joseph also tells the ticket agent they'd rather nobody else find out about it. The agent, who looks a little bit like a Stephen Root cousin and is operating at a level of seriousness that's difficult to discern, says, "What's it worth?" Joseph and Monica assure him that it's worth a million dollars. Idiots. Saying what everyone else in the room is thinking, the agent says that what he meant was, what's it worth to him? Making themselves look even dumber than they already do, MoJo says that Monica will give him kiss. Okay, see, when you're just sucking up, you can offer to give the guy a kiss. But when the guy wants to know how much you're going to bribe him, that is not a "give him a kiss" situation. The agent looks back at them, and his face expresses the following thought rather eloquently: "How did you get all the way from America to here without absentmindedly swallowing your tongue?" Go on. Freeze-frame it. I'll wait. That's what his face is saying.

BJ and Tyler come to the airport and wind up next to Joseph and Monica at the Qantas counter. "MoJo," Tyler calls out, thinking he's cool. "What happened to those other taxis?" BJ is more specific, saying that "there's a rumor" that they canceled all the cabs. "That sucks," Joseph says noncommittally. Tyler asked if they did it, and according to the editing, Joseph just keeps facing the window -- probably wracked with guilt because he stood and watched Eric and Jeremy do it and isn't sure whether to rat them out -- but Monica shakes her head. So Tyler smugly says to BJ, "They did it." Next, Ray and Yolanda arrive at the airport, and when they get to the counter, Ray conspicuously directs some remarks in MoJo's direction about the canceling of the cabs. Then Joseph turns around, losing any claim to the high ground by saying, "Somebody canceled y'all's cab?" like he's surprised. BJ and Tyler say that's the scoop from Eric and Jeremy. "Sneaky bastards, they're telling them that we did it," Joseph mutters to Monica, a tiny bit amused. Obviously, my level of sympathy for them is somewhat limited by the fact that while Joseph didn't cancel the cabs, he was standing there and knew about it, and he was enjoying the "jump" he knew he'd get from it. Lie down with dogs, wake up with fleas.

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Amazing Race




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