Amazing Race
Mark Down

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Bollywood Travolta

Other Rachel and Dave head to the driving school and find the field out back with lots of other auto rickshaws already buzzing about. They sit down at mock-ups of the driver's seats to learn about "accelerator, brake, clutch, steering" (what, no horn?) and then head over to some actual vehicles to try it out. With an instructor sitting next to her, and Dave and another random passenger in the backseat, Rachel drives over to the start of the course. Soon she's bumping into slalom flags and cracking herself up, even though Dave isn't at all amused. Because things aren't going well, you see. So she lets him go first, probably so he can see for himself that even though these vehicles are about the length of a surfboard, their turning radius is about a hundred yards.

Back at the college, JJ is making a second attempt at the dance, but falls behind his squad again and is flagged out. "Never gonna look like these chicks out here," Art says. Does Jezebel.com know about his deep thoughts on gender and the performing arts? Vanessa says she used to be able to dance but now can't seem to manage this. And Mark is the only one who hasn't given it a try yet, as he freely sweats through his cream pajamas. His choreographer tells him to relax, and Mark explains about having thrown up on the way over, and the hot morning sun, and how he keeps phasing in and out of reality. Well, he calls it being dizzy, but like I said above, I'm an old-school Doctor Who fan. On the sidelines, Bopper says Mark really wants this, adding that of the two of them, Mark has been a fan of the race for much longer.

Brendon shares some highly advanced thoughts of his own about gender, as a nervous Rachel gears up for a second attempt: "It's good to have a girl on your team because they can do things like this. But then it's bad, because they get emotional." A) Shut up, Neanderthal. B) Like Rachel is typical of women. If she were, I'd be either single, gay, or long dead by my own hand. Or one of theirs. In her second attempt, she gets stopped and jumps off the stage sulking. "It's not gonna be perfect," she bitches to Brendon like it's his fault, and storms off. Art compares her to "the cheerleader who didn't make the cheerleading team but kept trying," which is not an analogy that I am either entirely on board with, or amused by. He does admit to us that he should have done this Roadblock instead of JJ. Why, is he better at looking like a chick?

At the driving course, Other Rachel explains to the camera how it's hard to turn the auto rickshaw on a dime. "No it's not," Dave dicks, for no other reason than to be a dick. From behind the wheel, he watches as his instructor jogs through the course ahead of them, arms spread wide in a joyful pose, to show the way. "He makes it look easy, doesn't he?" Other Rachel observes. The soundtrack launches into Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" as helicopter pilot Dave releases the brake and starts looping through the flags, bumping one near the end. "That was a fail," the instructor tells him in what is either very good English or very advanced. Dave makes sure to point out that he nearly made it the first time. "I made it a lot more fun and I hit a bunch of poles," Other Rachel points out. It would be even more fun if she would just hit one pole in particular. With her foot. Dave backs up for another try, and makes it this time. "Now for the crazy driver," Other Rachel says, hopping behind the handlebars for her second turn.

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Amazing Race

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