Previously on Bye Bye, Loves: The teams raced through Botswana, where Uchenna and Joyce continued to demonstrate that their marital-difficulties "hook" was, in all likelihood, a complete fraud. A milking Detour option tested the pastoral, as well as comedy, skills of a number of teams, with Lynn taking the prize for Most Failed Attempts At A Goat-Teat Joke. It was also Mutual of Whoa!-maha's Wild Kingdom Week as everyone got accustomed to driving down the road and being interrupted by four-cow pileups and jackknifed giraffes. Lynn and Alex continued work on their upcoming book, 400 Ways To Kill A Supposedly Indestructible Botswanan SUV. Kelly read several chapters of He's Just Not That Into The Bible and became concerned enough to gently and lovingly point out to Ron, in the spirit of "love one another as I have loved you" and so forth, that he was "a piece of trash redneck." A couple of teams had problems following directions, but none of them were nearly serious enough to save the adorable fannies of Brian and Greg, who showed up at the pit stop scantily clad, but were Philiminated anyway. Phil is no fun. I would have enjoyed people trying to figure out how to get into sacred sites in swim trunks. Now, we're down to the final five in this, the seventh episode. Who will be eliminated next, and how on earth will they drag it out for another month until the finale?

Credits. Meet! The! Teams! The ones that haunt! Your! Dreams! Oh...never mind. We're not doing that anymore. You know, sometimes I long for all that I've left behind at Ye Olde Gimmicke Shoppe. I mean, Lord knows you can't keep going, "Sock it to me!" forever, but still. [BOMP.]

Commercials. I cannot tell you how much I despise these commercials where the athletes turn into crumbling rock. If I wanted to see creepy footage of people's bodies disintegrating to the point where they are no longer recognizable as human forms, I'd be watching Extreme Makeover, now, wouldn't I?

Music that is mellow but drum-heavy welcomes us back to Botswana, where a wide variety of animals are trying to forget the presence of the cameras and act natural. We find Phil at Khwai Village, where most of the time, the locals are left in peace. Not right now, obviously. And at Khwai River Lodge, we find our pit stop. We revisit old footage of the teams arriving yesterday, as Phil sets out to refresh our memories regarding where we left off. Phil refers to the "increasing tension" between Ron and Kelly as we watch them eat. He also wonders whether Meredith and Gretchen can keep on keeping on, in spite of the fact that if they have one more bad finish, they will be restricted to riding in remote-controlled cars and paying for everything in counterfeit money from a Branson, Missouri souvenir shop with Mel Tillis's face on it.